Crocodile tears shed for Rajesh Khanna

Do you sleep peacefully at nights or suffer from nightmares?
I sleep peacefully because throughout the day I succeed in giving nightmares to lots of people.

Do you ever smile? Never seen.
I smile only when others pretend to cry.

RGV sir, do you believe in the casting couch?
Casting couch is the biggest myth ever to be floated about the film industry... in all my years I have seen casting happen everywhere except on the couch.

What are the qualities you look for in a friend, girlfriend I mean?
I don’t have friends and I don’t like friends... I like girls but I don’t like them to be friends because then I will have to listen to their woes and lend them my shoulder to cry on. I have better things to do with my ears and my shoulders.

Boss, you have not said a single word about Rajesh Khanna. Did you not like his films?
I have never seen a Rajesh Khanna film. So there’s nothing for me to say... but it was amazing to see people who didn’t even remember him for more than a decade going on and on about what a loss it was for the film industry.

I am a handsome young model from Punjab and visited your office to say hello.
But I was told to leave or you would get upset. Not fair.

If you were a beautiful young model even from Timbuctoo, I myself would have come out to welcome you in. What isn’t fair is that you are handsome and not beautiful.

You write badly about marriage. I am getting married in Mumbai soon and want your blessings anyway. Will you come and bless my wife and me, sir?
I will host a big party for both of you at my house, individually, after you get divorced.

What if somebody abandoned a baby at your doorstep?
Aahhh, if there’s one thing I dislike more than children it’s babies...for one they keep the women busy in yucky yucky things. And for two I hate the noise of babies crying. I would probably call the cops if someone left a baby at my doorstep for disturbing the peace in my household.

Ramuji why aren’t you writing a book about all the women who have been in your life? It will be a bestseller.
I don’t kiss and tell...er I mean. I don’t kiss and write

News is that you are mentoring film students nowadays. OMG, that means there will be more RGVs. Why are you doing this to Indian cinema?
If there’s anything I hate more than learning it’s teaching... so be rest assured that I will never ever do such a despicable act as teaching

Any plans to celebrate the Centenary of Indian cinema next year?
To start with there’s nothing to celebrate about Indian cinema. And if there’s something to celebrate, then it doesn’t matter whether it’s the centenary or an anniversary

What is your reaction to the Batman killings?
I am glad that killer was not around when I made Aag... otherwise instead of the audience he would have shot me.

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