In the summer of 1981, a young bride walked down the aisle of Westminster Abbey to join the crown prince of England in holy matrimony. The images of a pretty Princess Diana in her voluminous wedding gown shyly looking up at her husband Prince Charles would be etched forever in public consciousness, along with the words “fairytale

wedding and romance”. Only, there was very little romance and not much of a fairytale ending either. But years later, as her son William readies to marry his longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton, the world is watching once again — and spinning another happily ever after story.
Nearly the same level of interest in also generated by the weddings of our non-blue blooded royalty: The glitterati, Hollywood and Bollywood stars and of late, even reality show contenders on TV. What are we looking for when we consume every detail of the fairytale weddings of the rich and the famous, especially in a day and age when a sordid divorce is the footnote to most stories?

SOCIAL PROGRAMMING
“The praja of a kingdom have always watched what the king and queen do with a lot of interest,” says psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty. Sociologist Nandini Sardesai agrees that our interest in lavish weddings is preprogrammed. “In India, there is a huge interest in lavish weddings because the once-in-a-lifetime, sacrosanct nature of marriage is drilled into us. Even among the poorest people, the accepted idea is no matter how deeply you get into debt, you have to organise as extravagant a wedding as you possibly can.”

SHOW AND TELL
Fairytale weddings are all grist for the mill when it comes to our innate sense of curiosity. “Human beings are voyeuristic by nature,” says Dr Shetty. “They want to peep, share and gossip. The media has acted as a ‘force multiplier’, exaggerating the needs of people who want to peep and people who want to show.”
Nowhere is this show-and-tell behaviour more predominantly displayed than in the newfound rise of wedding-based reality programming on television. Shows like Rakhi Ka Swayamvar, Rahul Dulhaniya Le Jayega and Shaadi 3 Crore Ki have provided the audience a ringside view of the wedding extravaganza of small-time celebs like Rakhi Sawant, Rahul Mahajan and an ordinary couple that was picked to have a fantasy wedding. But Sanvari Nair, creative director of nonfiction programming at Imagine, says these shows have worked because they are based on what people dream about.
“Weddings are associated with the promise of a lifetime of love and happiness. These shows delve into the emotional and the practical aspects of a wedding, whether it is choosing a soulmate as in the Swayamvar series, or once chosen, the entire process of turning a dream wedding into reality, as in the case of Shaadi 3 Crore Ki.”

THE LURE OF THE SPECTACLE
But isn’t the fact that many of these marriages end in divorce a deterrent? Priya Sachdev and Vikram Chatwal’s fairytale wedding was broadcast on BBC, but the couple separated a few years later. Rakhi Sawant split with her Swayamvar choice while Rahul Mahajan’s marriage to Dimpy Ganguly has already been mired in allegations of domestic violence. Dr Shetty says, “You’re not interested in marriage as a philosophy, you’re viewing it as a mega event.”
There is most definitely a decided effort to make the final ceremony as grand as possible on reality shows at least, Sanvari admits. “That’s because it is the culmination of not just a series but of a dream. A lot more time is allotted for the set up of the final day and more resources for the final execution.”

MEDIA’S ROLE
Says Sardesai, “Now everyone has the chance to play the leading role in their favourite fantasy. Even if I can’t personally afford it, let me get as much vicarious pleasure out of this. The media feeds on this. If we didn’t write about or report these details, how would people come to know?”
Television has brought the fairytale wedding right into our homes. “The media has given the term fairytale wedding a brand new makeover,” says Mumbai-based wedding consultant Sonia Bhambhani. “We do indulge in details about other people’s weddings, especially the rich and famous, for tips, ideas, contacts and in general to be able to draw inspiration to make our own weddings fit today’s model of that quintessential fairytale. TV shows exalting grandiose weddings, stunning bridal makeovers and detailed coverage of celebrity weddings have made our audience aware of innovative, international wedding themes, decor, venues, bridal fashion and beauty and other details that go a long way in putting together that perfect fairytale wedding. Even if you see pictures of your friends’ weddings pop up on your Facebook feed, you like something they’ve done, you want it done for your wedding.”
Blogs have also fed and benefitted from the obsessive consumption of fairytale weddings. Louise Baltruschat, the owner and editor of a popular wedding blog in the UK, Whimsical Wonderland Weddings, says such blogs are increasing their sphere of influence because of the easy access via cellphone, tablets and computers, daily up to the minute content and inclusion of more details and images than television could ever hope to. “Also, recommended featured suppliers are only a click away, meaning it can be easy for couples to find amazing wedding vendors. The Internet has both fed and altered people’s perceptions of what the fairytale wedding should be like,” says Lou. “Some of the best wedding blogs include Green Wedding Shoes, Ruffled, 100 Layer Cake and The Knotty Bride in the US and Rock n Roll Bride, Love My Dress, Rock My Wedding in the UK.”

IMITATION, BEST FORM OF FLATTERY
As Sanvari points out, television has exposed viewers to all kinds of ideas for weddings. Professionals in the wedding industry have certainly seen the consequences. “Oh yes, most people do get inspired by celebrity weddings and even films,” says Rachana Lucknowala, the founder of Wedding Cafe and Lounge, a one-stop solution venue for prospective brides and grooms. “The Jodha-Akbar theme was much in demand, where people not only wanted to be dressed royally but also wanted a complete royal decor for their venue. Even the pre-wedding celebrations are sometimes inspired by a famous celebrity. The William-Kate nuptials is going to be the wedding of the century and a lot of people will be inspired by it.”
“Most clients do not want an exact replica of a celebrity wedding,” says Rachana. “The requirements are usually, ‘I want something similar to that or something better than that’. Then, depending on the requirements and the budget, we try to meet the expectations of the client. It’s a moment they will remember forever and there is no room for error.”

LOOKING FOR OUR OWN HAPPILY EVER AFTER
Writer and social commentator Shobhaa De says there’s nothing wrong in our consumption of the fairytale. “It is a global phenomenon and for once we can’t blame the media for creating the hype. In a world that is pretty cynical, brisk and businesslike about everything, a fairytale wedding appeals to the closet romantic in all of us. It reminds us that romance and love can be celebrated.... that fantasy and dreams aren’t totally dead. It is a form of harmless escapism.”
“With celebrity culture at the forefront of our time, we can get obsessed about what designer the bride wore or where they had their wedding and fuss over the tiny details. But when it comes down to it we believe in the romance of a wedding and we believe the fairytale ending will happen if you have the fairytale wedding,” says Lou.
And maybe that’s the real reason why, as William and Kate take the pledge to honour and love each other, the world will silently wish for their own happily ever after.