Overcome shyness, fall in love
There are so many pending unanswered questions from the last couple of weeks. Here’s a quick go at a few of them…
n “What’s the secret to understanding a girl’s mind?” Rohan; Age, 17
I don’t know. I have been trying to find out ever since I was 14, and I still haven’t the faintest clue. If you ever find out, drop me a mail in detail, without fail. If you really want my opinion, I think it’s best to let mysteries remain mysteries and carry on with the life that we can grasp and understand. So quit and downgrade your search towards the other important mystery — yourself.
n “How do I try to impress a girl on a date?” Vishal; Age, 19
As long as you are “trying” to impress, she won’t be impressed. It’s only when you quit trying and be relaxed and allow your natural responses to surface that you have a chance to get her to look at you a second time. Look out for warning signs though. If one part of your head is telling you that you are making an ass of yourself and on the other hand, the girl is getting impressed — it’s time to set off a loud warning inside your head. A warning that you are being made a bakra, and what the fluttering eyelashes really mean is that you will be flashed on FB and rem-ain the butt of all jokes for the next few months.
n “Girls are experts at hiding their feelings, while boys are only good at blurting them out. How can a boy become as smart as a girl, in this respect?” Chaitanya; Age, 20
Now you are talking. Man, if only I had this gyan when I was your age, I wouldn’t have made an ass of myself on many occasions. To be fair, girls don’t “hide” their feelings or fake them. They are in better control, that’s all. Boys tend to let their hormones take them for a ride. Think of your mind like a horse and yourself as the rider. Keep a firm hand on the reins, don’t let it go loco.
n “What’s your advice to my friend, who is always awkward and shy and hasn’t spoken to a single girl in two years of hostel, college?” Sudhakar; Age, 19
Your friend is so shy that he can’t even write a mail about his shyness! Anyway, here are some useful tips for you (or your friend).
1. Next time you go to the hostel mess for breakfast, look at the food and feel too shy to eat it. Pick up that morsel and imagine it being handed to you by the most beautiful girl in your college. Now look away, blush, turn pink and put it back on the plate. Finally, after several attempts, allow shyness to overtake you and run away to your room.
2. Repeat your Oscar-winning performance during lunch.
3. By dinner you will have found a tiger inside that’s willing to eat up all the food on your plate. When you are wolfing the grub down, remember this new found aggression of hunger and note how it has kicked out all trace of “shyness” for food.
4. Go and talk to a girl. Say hello with newfound confidence. If you are still shy and trembling, repeat steps one and two. To overcome shyness, you need to desperately want to do it. So find that “need” inside your head. It’s bound to work.
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