Biff, pow, bang. Have muscles, will bedazzle? In fact, when Bollywood wannabe-boppers stomp into filmmakers’ offices with their bodies bulging like a basket of onions under body-tight T-shirts, they’re rudely shown the door. Sorry dudes, clones of Salman Khan and Akshay Kumar are so not wanted. Yet, Lokhandwala complex, the suburban mecca of B-town hopefuls, is littered with fitness gyms. Showbiz strugglers, flaunting dragon tattooes on their arms, chests and even necks, mill in and out, dreaming impossible dreams in broad daylight. Perhaps, just perhaps some casting director will catch sight of them, ensuring a passage to tinsel heaven.
Traditionally, most of the strugglers come from New Delhi, Punjab and Haryana, but of late there has been an influx, too, from London’s Southall and Hounslow neighbourhoods, New York’s Jackson Heights and South African towns. The third generation of NRIs return to India, aspiring to become movie stars. Of them, the males are convinced that buffed-up bodies — embedded in glossy portfolio photographs — are their passage to heaven.
Aah, as for the lean, boyish bodies of Ranbir Kapoor and Imran Khan, these are cited as exceptions to the rule. They’re cool-dudes-next-door, they’re certainly no Stallones of Schwarzeneggers. So, how did they slallom into the limelight? To that the strugglers psyche themselves, that one is from the Kapoor family and the other’s the family-bulwarked nephew of Aamir Khan. Right. Not surprisingly, then, neither Ranbir nor Imraan have served as role models for strugglers with compulsive-muscle-building disorders.
Caution ahead: Frontline actors, like the strugglers, are known to “damage” their bodies for life. In fact, recently a younger but not too successful brother to a top hero, had to be rushed to hospital — not once but twice — for the excessive use of steroids to pump up his body. Quite a few actors have had to be periodically checked for the overuse of liquid supplements, whey powder, fat burners and certain Chinese herbs and medicines which are a quick but medically dubious route to body sculpting.
Salman Khan, whose bare chest act for the climax of Ready, evokes thunderous claps and whistles, may be a pin-up delight. Yet, if a hair transplant at a Dubai clinic became necessary for this Khan, how well was he looking after himself? The question’s ignored. Going through a winning streak, ever since Dabangg last year, the 45-year-old Khan continues to be the struggler’s delight at the gyms across the nation.
By contrast, Akshay Kumar — whose box office luck is on a downcurve currently — is the most fastidious of the fitness freaks. At the age of 43, he has the best-preserved body in showtown, primarily because his diet consists of foods which are conducive to his blood group. An apocryphal story goes that there was a time when he would bathe only in mineral water, to preserve his hairlocks. Often accompanied by trainers, the khiladi is into stretching, running and free-hand exercises. After a day’s shooting in Hong Kong, he is said to have climbed the steps to the 70th storey of his hotel room. How you wish he’d allot as much attention to his acting.
Among the best “bods” in the business, John Abraham is into overzealous gymming. Of late, he has buffed out to such an extent, that he is working towards projects which showcase him as an action hero of the Indiana Jones kind. Like it or not, the actor would no longer look as vulnerable as he did in his debut-making Jism. Arjun Rampal, a fanatic for pumping iron, has kept himself proportionate. That’s why he can fit into a variety of roles, allowing him to show off his acting chops in Rock On and Rajneeti.
Hrithik Roshan maintains a lean look but can ripple his muscles as well, depending on the script. In Guzaarish, he plays down his physique, in Dhoom 2 he celebrated it. Director-actor Farhan Akhtar is body toned, without becoming overbearingly muscular, permitting him to portray the average Joe in Luck by Chance and Karthik Calling Karthik. Shah Rukh Khan and Aamir Khan have added on abs for the camera in keeping with their roles in Om Shanti Om and Ghajini respectively. Neither happen to be the classic macho guys. Thank the lord for that. Who needs all brawn, no brains?
Although he was one of the earliest exponents of gymming, Sanjay Dutt has puffed out eye-bogglingly with the advancing years. Shahid Kapoor, in a bid to do as the Khans do, couldn’t quite pull off the physical aspect of his dual role in Kaminey. His Peter Pan, boy-man looks suit him best. Muscles look as if they had been photo-shopped on him. And er, whatever happened to Fardeen Khan? Ignore fitness, welcome oblivion. Yesterday’s cool Fardeen has become history.
Still, it’s the current lot of hits that count. Those hits happen to be Dabangg and Ready. Result: the beat goes on for strugglers at the Lokhandwala complex, even while their portfolios continue to be binned.