‘I’d love to be Satan in my next birth’

The director decides to indulge his fans and critics by replying to their questions

How many bhoots are you going to unleash on, us Ramuji?
As many as I can think of. They are the best people I like apart from gangsters. Also I believe in ghosts a little more than in God because I have seen ghosts do some stuff here and there. But I’ve never seen God do anything. Also I’ve wondered if God creates everything, why were they created? And if he didn’t create them, who did?

If you ever returned to life as a bhoot whom would you haunt and why?
I would haunt all the people who didn’t like my films, especially the critics. I would also haunt all the women who rejected my love.

What if you were possessed by an evil spirit? Whom would you call in for exorcism?
Obviously that will depend upon what kind of an evil spirit has possessed me.
Since I’m evil myself it might be a good thing if I am possessed by evil. But if I get possessed by a good spirit then I will take the help of Satan.

I am convinced that your apartment in Mumbai is haunted and you spend long nights chatting with ghosts. Right?
To tell you the truth, I am a ghost myself. That’s why I just love to scare people... so my house is predominantly haunted by me only. And yes, I do get a lot of visitors from other haunted houses and we all have tea parties at the stroke of midnight.

Sridevi once said she was very scared by a horror movie which showed evil, nasty tomatoes eating the world. I’ve been unable to find this tomato movie. Can you help?
I think it’s called The Killer Tomatoes but I haven’t seen it. But I’ve seen a horror film called The Stuff in which something like popcorn starts killing people.

Ramu sir, do you believe in life before and after birth? Would love to know who you were in
your punar janam and whom you want to become in your next birth?

I am very convinced that I was a mighty divine power in my last birth. That explains my extraordinary know-ledge and insights... I would love to be Satan in my next birth.

How come there are no statutory warnings in ghost movies. I am sure ghosts smoke and drink too, don’t they?
I don’t know about smoking and drinking but my friends from the graveyards tell me that they have lots of sex and orgies but it could be God who censors it from becoming public knowledge

Please name three personalities whose ghosts you would like to spend an evening with.
Mahatma Gandhi, Osama bin Laden and Marilyn Monroe.

How about remaking Sholay yet again in which everyone returns as a ghost to set you on fire?
Actually the only things I am scared of are the spirits of the dead cast and crew members of the original Sholay.
I want to remake Aag to appease them by hopefully getting it right this time.

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