It was a complete capture of the capital by an all-singing, all-dancing American President, but weren’t we thrilled! This was the biggest thing after the McDonald’s combo-burger with a free Pepsi on the side! We are simple people, after all, with an unending yearning for American fast food and visual extravaganzas.

What was the take-away? — everyone asked, as though the meeting of two premieres and their entourages were a giant pizza, which had to be dressed with all kinds of goodies to make it appetising for the Indo-US consumers. “Didn’t you like the mushroom-anchovy-mustard?” yelled one TV journalist excitedly... yes, shouted the government spokesperson with his mouth full, but try the tomato-lettuce-mince flavour, this is better… Of course, Mumbaikars were also given a succulent bite of the prawn-onion-pesto combo — but outside of these two cities, does this country really care about the great and glorious display, unless it meant at least a couple of McDonald’s chips on their table?
So the “takeaway” now is laced with nuclear deal and United Nations Security Council assurances and plenty of references to the Panchtantra… which, if you remember, were wise fables in which often the “friendly” entity ended up swallowing the more trusting innocent. Given the strategic thinkers on both sides, it is difficult to say who will end up inside whose stomach... But I am wondering if we really need to have this hit parade? Or did US President Barack Obama come here to teach our politicians to dance?
It was quite ironic that Mr Obama kept referring to Mahatma Gandhi — (remember the “austerity” word?) — while back home, in forgotten US, the unemployed were wondering why their President had to spend millions to fly to India to “get” deals which would have been probably signed up anyway. But then, this was the all-singing, all-dancing Obama duo, and there was no way we could keep them off lucrative Indian shores.
I seem to remember that last year it was economy class for the Congress and everyone wanted to behave like the aam aadmi or aurat. But in the last six months we have only seen grand public displays, large amounts of takeaways and overlays and scams, scams, scams…
That’s perhaps why we even forgot to ask how much the Indian government spent on the Obama pizzeria — coming so close to the Commonwealth Games. Could this money have been better used, i.e., could the President have come for a day, and the money spent on the other two days been utilised to build 50 new schools for our children? Or provide hospitals to cease a few thousand maternal deaths?
At this moment, Mr Obama needed a PR collagen boost and we gave it to him. Essentially he got the bigger takeaway. We provided him balm for his soul. And jobs for his countrymen. Do big policy initiatives really need this much dressing up? And how many of them are made for TV events? (For the opposition in this country it is an interesting lesson in PR management as well. Because here too, coming so soon before what is already turning out to be a stormy Parliament session, it is easier for the government to firefight after they appear to have pulled off an international PR coup.)
We all know how carefully scripted the Obama visit was: so careful that even the First Lady Michelle dropped her slick designer wear and decided to look frumpy in a country in which most women politicians are usually covered from head to toe and make a special effort at looking unattractive.
Taking a cue out of Mamata Banerjee’s designer wardrobe perhaps, she felt it was important to have her hair pulled back as though she had just tumbled out of bed, and that her clothes were suitably crushed and crumpled. After all, she did not want to out-shine Pratibha Patil. So even a frock with a few faux sari pleats in the front to provide a temporary paunch was thought of. I can just imagine a strategy session at the White House when that… err, unforgettable pale blue dress was drawn up. Yes, the paunch is mandatory, and they love big hips! Just give it to them, baby!
However, a day after the Obama juggernaut swept through Delhi, I happened to be at the Crafts Museum where the First Lady had supposedly splurged `80,000. It was a total shock. Half of the centre is under repair and the other was underwhelming in its variety and scale — compared even to a Dilli Haat or a Santushti. Also unsurprising was the fact that Mrs Obama encountered a child working there and that the incident was glossed over. After all the bright and hard working children Mrs Obama had met during her visit, this was one child which represented the “forgotten” India — but she was careful not to say anything and continued on her PR mission.

Meanwhile, to know that Anish Kapoor is (finally) coming to India is yet another indication of how seriously people all over the world now think the big bucks are here. Kapoor has never been enticed to come in before — but this obviously is another million-dollar international event. It will be made for TV as well as for the Delhi elite. Far removed from the “real” Bharat, Rahul Gandhi is so fond of speaking about.
And thus, could Antony Gormley be far behind? I just received a note from someone who wants to present this great British sculptor to the discerning Indian audience… The reality is that Kapoor and Gormley will be known to around a few thousand art enthusiasts in the country — but we are helpfully (as always) providing them with a potential market. In the old days, India was considered the land of the Maharajahs — I think that impression is being carefully nurtured, again. It is good for India’s image abroad — but it also means that we will find less space for our own struggling artists as we generate income for the impoverished art impresarios abroad — poor things, struggling to maintain their crumbling mansions and cobwebbed chandeliers.
It is the same situation with charities. People are writing to ask if there are any Indian philanthropists who can sustain charities run by foreign NGOs. Without sounding alarmist, I wonder why we cannot have our homegrown philanthropists supporting our own Indian NGOs, and our artists be given space, instead of the “phoreners”?

The writer can be contacted at kishwardesai@yahoo.com