Trust, support helped her scale new heights
I am a girl of the mountains, and our relationship is a gift from the mountains. My husband Raj Singh Dharmshaktu belongs to a village in Munsiyari, but unlike other village men, he is a very forward-minded person.
In our profession of mountaineering, there are times when we do not see each other for months. No phone calls, no contact at all. A person with a regular job can never understand the hardships involved, nor what it means to scale the peak of a mountain and plant the tri-colour. Raj understands, and that makes us unique as a couple. He scaled Mount Everest, the highest point in the world in May last year, and I skied to the South Pole, which is the lowest point on earth.
People often ask me if we are rivals, to which I say, "never". We revel in each other’s success. Last month was special for us. I became the first Indian woman to reach the South Pole, and it became doubly special when I saw my friends and family at the airport. It was a huge celebration, the overwhelming welcome touched my heart and my husband had arranged this surprise.
There are times when he does all of the household work and I find that very special. People have different ways to express their love, but to me, this means a lot. In our society, men might feel shy to do household chores or admit to doing so. A woman is supposed to look after the home, but when a husband contributes, this signals growth in a relationship.
Despite all this, I would like to mention that it has not been a fairytale. We have seen ups and downs, and have worked very hard to come this far. We first met in 2000 at Leh, where all the expeditions begin and end. I was going for an expedition, and he was coming back from one. We settled down four years later. Marriage is a high-maintenance job and no relationship can survive without adjustments. Today, I have even finished his bank balance! He fretted about it a bit, but never asked me to stop undertaking new expeditions.
Money has always been a huge problem for us. The Indian Mountaineering Federation mostly sponsors my husband’s expeditions, but I have never had any financial help. Scaling the South Pole was going to be the biggest challenge of my life. A lot of people had great hopes for me and the word had spread, but I was making every effort to raise the money.
Each day was a struggle and I would return home disappointed. I was turned away from corporate houses, government officials and many private firms. My husband exhausted his savings and we wondered if it was worth it. I wanted to give up mountaineering and take up a regular job. It was a moment of doubt. Luckily, I got support from the Kaspersky Lab, who funded my journey and my husband supported me all the way. It is things like these that build a relationship. Distance, they say, makes the heart grow fonder, and it has worked for us. Today, we trust each other and support each other completely. That is our mantra for a happy life.
Reena Kaushal Dharamshaktu
As told to Harpreet Kaur Lamba
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