At my dance studio and many other dance schools, teachers organise dance gathering at different clubs, lounges or restaurants. In Mumbai, Delhi and Bengaluru many call it Salsa nights when they end up dancing to Bollywood songs.
All dance lovers come together once or twice a week and have fun, learn, eat and drink. But whenever I have attended a dance gathering, I have seen many women sitting bored at a dance event. “Why do I have to wait for someone to ask me to dance?” Once I have even had Mrs World Aditi Govitrikar ask me the same question.
I believe there was a time few decades ago when a man was would ask a lady for a dance but those days are over now. You ladies you don’t have to wait for him! Get up from your chair, cruise the floor, make yourself visible, walk over to the man wou want to dance with and ask, “May I have a dance?” Admittedly, for a woman, or even a man, this takes a bit of courage. The fact is that every person at an event has come to dance. The likelihood is strong that you won’t be refused. This is the rule: You must dance with someone who requests. You must dance at least one dance; it is simply polite.
However, there are a few polite excuses that people manage to come up with. Some politely refuse since they have been asked by someone else and some just look so exhausted that you end up moving onto the next person.
When soembody asks you to dance with them, it’s a great idea to introduce yourself. You could request them to take the dance slowly if you are a beginner. Most men are flattered to be asked, and are pleased as punch to give the ladies a hand. On the other hand, most women are flattered to be asked, and are equally pleased to give the man a hand.
When you’re done, say thank you, and escort the lady back to her seat. If your dance with this person was not a particularly satisfying experience, resist offering advice, or if you really want to help, be brief. Try to be pleasant and even upbeat; recall your learning period. Avoid saying “Don’t ask me again, especially until you’ve learned how to step on the floor and not on my feet”.
Beginner dancers are shy and embarrassed and therefore deter from freely asking a stranger for a dance. It may feel comfortable and secure to always dance with your regular partner, but it’s like the blind leading the blind. As with any new experience, beginners must persevere to climb this platform and reach a higher level. Beginners should ask more experienced dancers because here they will find consideration and guidance. More experienced dancers should offer dances to starters in a spirit of mentorship. It builds confidence on both sides.
A dance is a social event. Make new friends, get acquainted, and arrange a rendezvous. That’s a fancy word for dance practice. You’re not yet being invited to meet the parents. You’re being invited to assist the other person to facilitate the learning process at a workshop or an evening of dance. You will both benefit by being more competent and confident. This applies strongly to couples as well; when you meet another couple, dance with them.
If you are going to ask the other person on a dance “date”, that’s another territory altogether. Dance patterns for a date event are the same, however, tread carefully with the emotion patterns. See you on the parquet. That’s a fancy word for “enjoy dancing”.