Khalid Mohamed

O kay, so you know the drift — out of vision, out of mind. It’s either boom or bust out here in Bollywood. But if you ask me, it’s not the callous system that’s to blame entirely for premature fade-outs. Either the hero, who’s rocking, just doesn’t want to play the fame game any more. Or no one’s interested in him.

Yup, so why do quite a few heroes — infinitely gifted or teakwood — vanish from the scene without so much as a by-your-leave? Frankly, their early retreats from the arena don’t really keep me awake at nights. Yet I do worry fleetingly, “Where art thou, guys?”, starting of course with…

AKSHAYE KHANNA: Terrific actor (prime examples: Border, Dil Chahta Hai, Taal, Humraaz) but as unpredictable as the weather. Last sighted in the cruddy comedy Gali Gali Mein Shor Hai, he’s gone into hibernation, or as the excuse goes, is reading scripts but none has excited him so far.
Indeed, rumour has it that the moody one’s writing a script after his heart. Another piece of tattle has it that he’s found nirvana in Alibaug, at an hour’s ferry ride away from the Gateway of India. Either way, don’t know what’s bugging this phoenix who could surely rise from the ashes.

RAHUL KHANNA: Bro Rahul isn’t even being splashed any more in the coverage of fashion soirees on the entertainment pages. He’s spent loads of years in New York, but occasionally did assent to be seen and heard on the Bollyscene.
Today I can’t even get the scrupulously courteous one on the line for a gabfest at the WIAA club in Malabar Hill, which he would agree to as promptly as a kid does to a chocolate bar. Maybe he’s given up on the movies because of the unploughable vehicular traffic from his home to the studios. Who needs that sort of jam, truly?

FARDEEN KHAN: Pasta was the villainous Mogambo in his case. Post-marriage, he became so fond of Italian cuisine — spaghetti, macaroni, lasagna, diced potatoes on the side — that the handsome dude began to resemble Billy Bunter. Talk is that he’s moved to Dubai with his Mrs, and is looking more shapely nowadays, thanks to workouts and crash diets which disallow calorific munchies. Will he feature in the sequel of No Entry if and when it gets going? Not a clue. Chip chip!

UPEN PATEL: As British as Shepherd’s Pie, the NRI kiddo claimed he had been offered over a dozen A-list movies on a platter. Shakalaka Boom bombed, and the kiddo was ghettoised in corny, sidey roles. And so the model-turned-actor, born with Mick Jagger-style lips, jetted back to the London suburbs — to study acting! Wise decision.

MOHIT AHLAWAT: After years in Amsterdam, he craved stardom, secured breaks in Ram Gopal Varma’s James and was last glimpsed in Shagird directed by the current flavour of the season, Tigmanshu Dhulia. No go. Buzz is that he married his childhood sweetheart, diverted to the restaurant business, and burped RGV and Tigu out ot his system. No one has been able to tell me which restaurant exactly. He’s untraceable. Another instance of performing the vanishing trick.
Perhaps no one cares for the heroes who drop out. I do, even at the risk of receiving angry SMS’es from them, insisting that we’re still hot-‘n’-very-happening. Sorry guys, time to wake up and smell the coffee — without the sugar cubes, please.