Beat the baby blues
The birth of a child is always a special occasion for the family. The new addition to the family soon becomes the apple of everyone’s eye but in all this excitement, the fact the two people have become parents for the first time is ignored.
The child is not only a bundle of joy, but also a bundle of new changes, surprises and challenges for the couple. This situation can be stressful and result in a condition known as “post partum depression” in the parents. Often, it is the mother who is identified as suffering from post partum depression and unfortunately, very little attention is paid to the same condition being experienced by new fathers. Yes, post partum depression in men may occur less than in women but it does happen.
Read the signs
Post partum depression in men may manifest itself differently than in women. Men may become more irritable, aggressive or hostile. They may feel overwhelmed by the additional responsibility of taking care of the child. In addition, various changes in lifestyle could be annoying and a feeling of being trapped might set in. Sleepless nights, the child needing constant care, incessant screaming, spending most time in the house than with friends or at a club, could become physically and mentally draining for the new father. There may be a constant feeling of exhaustion and fatigue that could even affect the man’s performance at work.
Not being able to have a life of his own can make the new father feel frustrated and this could lead to conflicts in the marriage and increase stress levels. Fathers may end up feeling miserable and indulge in impulsive behaviour like alcohol and drug abuse and extra marital affairs. Additional symptoms like feelings of guilt, crying spells, inability to concentrate and change in appetite will also be evident.
Beat the blues
Depression peaks within three to six months of childbirth and may take almost a year to fade away unless treated in time. It is important that corrective measures are taken as soon as shifts in mood or behaviour are recognised. Short-lived baby blues are normal and usually go away on their own, but if the condition persists or worsens, prompt action needs to be taken. An untreated condition could have lifelong implications for the individual, the marriage and the child.
The most important thing in tackling such a situation is to remember that it is a stressful period for both partners. Therefore, the man and woman must help each other. They must have an open and honest level of communication with regard to managing the finances and sharing responsibilities. Hiring domestic help or a babysitter so that the couple could have some time for each other is also a sound idea.
Most importantly, the couple must remember that their sex life may not be the same as soon as the baby is born, but there are other ways in which they can express love and intimacy for one another. However, if these practical measures do not seem adequate, it is best to seek professional help and meet a counsellor or a psychiatrist.
The writer is a senior
consultant psychiatrist in
New Delhi.
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