The bigger picture

Women and men are miles a part and everyone knows that. In fact, a lot has already been written about it. Scientists across the globe have wasted pages after pages to explain their complex relationship but still men continue to be the confused self and women, well, what can I say! Here is an open letter to both of you. Hear me out as this can save your brain, heart and peace.
Dear Men,
You are a crazed lot. Among the most tragic of your shortcomings is the fact that you are fickle to the point of not even knowing what you wish to be sure about. You may think you don’t have commitment issues but, let me put it this way, if it were left to you to decide whether to have an apple or a banana for breakfast, none of you would even make it to work. And yet, you try to commit to relationships and that is a dangerous thing, especially when coming from those who went hungry at breakfast. You will make women wait while you sit on the hardest and roughest of fences just further showing that the hide on your backside is tougher than nails!
Dear Women,
What the hell is the matter with you!? If it isn’t enough that you try to acquire a man like you acquire jewellery, you are guilty of a greater crime: you know the inherent flaws that being a man entails and yet you try something that even God didn’t think he was capable of bringing about in the male of the human species: Change! You will try and resuscitate a relationship that has been dead longer than the tuna in your freezer and you will imagine a life that was never possible in the first place. But I am not saying discard your man, for in that case life on earth would be like public toilets, entirely separated for men and women. Here’s my priceless advice: instead of trying to adopt your man to your needs, try and adapt to him. Change is as alien to us men as a shower before bedtime, so why bother with the nuanced details. Instead go for the long term, the bigger picture, or car, whichever.

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