Going alone towards fatherhood
Portuguese football star and the costliest footballer of all time Cristiano Ronaldo surprised his fans by cutting a sorry figure at the Fifa World Cup, often left alone, isolated and helpless. However, the real shocker came barely two days later when serial playboy Ronaldo, announced that he has become a father, and that he will take full responsibility for the child’s upkeep.
In India, although, single men becoming fathers is still a rare phenomenon, slowly but surely, the winds of change can be felt blowing. A pioneer in the sense was choreographer Sandip Soparrkar, who adopted a son at the age of two, even before marrying wife Jesse Randhwa. He is enjoying every minute of it, and encourages other men to do the same too.
However, given the modern day demands of career and 15-hour work days, how realistic is it for a man to bring up a child on his own?
Dr Hozefa Bhinderwala, consultant psychiatrist, says that the concept is a far-fetched idea in an Indian society, and isn’t something that he recommends either. “A woman’s love and care is necessary to understand the emotional needs of a child. A father may not be able to provide this by himself,” he said.
Bhinderwala said that while personal tragedies might have necessitated fathers to bring up children single-handedly, it is advisable if they didn’t do so. “It remains to be seen how Ronaldo’s son grows up to be like. But I am not really in favour of single men bringing up children, and even the laws in our country don’t support it,” he said.
However, that hasn’t deterred men from going ahead and applying for adoption. Sunil Arora, administrator of Bal Asha Trust, says that the number of requests they get from single males has definitely increased. “There are more single men coming to us with adoption requests. However, after counselling, many single men suddenly start having second thoughts about whether it is the right step to take,” he said.
Soparrkar, however, believes that the actual problem is with the stereotypical mindset, but in practical terms, it’s a wonderful experience. “There were some problems I faced; both during the adoption process, and while bringing up the child. But these are problems that any single parent, and even households with two parents, would face. These days, most parents anyway leave their kids at a crèche; so did I. The only time I would miss having a partner was when I was touring,” he said.
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