“He’s great in bed”, is how Veronica (Deepika Padukone) introduces Gautam (Saif Ali Khan) in the movie Cocktail. Not to mention that they are best friends who have casual sex. And cine-goers know just what is going to unfolding on the screen. In fact they are openly accepting and talking about a subject that was prohibited once.
“The measure of a society’s acceptance can be judged by not what it allows, but what it forbids. Even saying casual sex was forbidden at one point of time, but now such things don’t shock us. The fact that we are reading and writing such stuff is itself an indicator that we are willing to accept the notion,” says Shriank Patel, a marketing professional, who does not mind discussing casual sex with her peers.
The youth of today are more practical than we can imagine. They would rather get into relationships that come with small escape routes than get into long-term associations. And most often, they call it a means to unwind. “Casual sex works in today’s day and age mainly because it helps in de-stressing. We are all taking on great stress at work, so nobody is looking for any responsibility with pleasure. Casual sex is instantly gratifying, and you don’t go through the regular relationship issues which make them soppy and an emotional baggage,” says Brishti Sengupta, advertising professional.
The dynamics of a relationship are getting complicated with each passing day. Sexual relationships are not limited to one-night stands with strangers; they have seeped into friendship as well. Friends are meant for benefits and they don’t seem to mind this arrangement as long as it remains uncomplicated.
When asked if she was comfortable getting into casual sex with a friend, “I think, yes,” replied Sunakshi Sinha, a journalism student. For her, it worked because it was a no commitment relationship with a known person. “The fact that having sex with a friend doesn’t compel them to get into the institution of marriage, as per societal demands is cool. And, the fact that friends share a level of comfort that allows them to understand sex as part of the relationship along with many other things. This is why casual sex works,” she explains.
Experts feel that this is a dangerous trend, for it does not highlight the web of emotions and depression that people hide. According to Seema Hingorrany, clinical psychologist, more and more people suffering from emotional deficiencies are approaching her for help. “Casual relationships are a result of hurt, trauma, anxiety, restlessness and commitment phobia, and these are no way a sign of normal human behaviour. Once people realise they are becoming addicted to casual sex, they start looking for help. Casual sex may seem harmless on the surface, but it becomes a habit that leaves you crippled. At times, your friends desert you just because you slept with them,” she says.
On a more practical note, Shriank feels it is a monetary trend. “I don’t think such relationships work. Yes they may appear more convenient initially due to no-commitment and the freedom involved. But in the long run these things are not healthy and harm the ability of people to build and sustain relationships,” he says.