Kiss and make up
It was two painful months away from a loved one. I don’t recall whose fault it was, nor what were the details of the quarrel. So it surely was not so monumental! And yet I couldn’t call up and bridge the void even though I missed my friend, philosopher and guide. I was ‘happy’ to stay away and convinced myself that I’m better off this way, rather than suffer the ‘humiliation’ of ‘going back’. So what stopped me really from bringing back the happy times? Yes, the fear of rejection. The ego thing that looms so large in our lives. It’s like a corpse we carry round with us that debilitates us from flying and soaring.
Things can be said in the myopia of anger, but I realise that you cannot wait too long because both of you lose out on precious time. Does it really matter whose fault it was?
Does it really matter in the broad scheme of things who is right? Is it important to always be right, or is there a great relief in being wrong, knowing it and getting the load off your chest and acquiescing to being wrong endearingly?
Self-importance and proving points are states of being best left behind, I think, to embrace the liberation of admitting some foibles. Few of us realise that our biological clocks are ticking. It seems like yesterday, isn’t it, that our grandparents were laughing by our sides? Some of us don’t have them anymore. No, we cannot go back into time and mend the glitches in relationships where one or theother of the loved ones has passed on into another realm of being. And in our transient times, we cannot know when any of our dear ones will up and go. So my two-month estrangement from my friend woke me up to the smart thing to do when we miss our special kindred souls (who are mostly few and far between) — to bite the bullet and not allow high horses to create an abyss that then leads to deep chasms and lacuna.
You’re waiting to hear what happened? She squealed with delight on hearing my voice. We brought each other up to speed about our worlds, trivia about things that we’d missed in each other’s lives for two months, and no, she didn’t bring up any of the ‘you-said-I-said’ baggage and yes, we are back to being every day friends.
So what are you waiting for? Get to that phone or better still, go and ring the doorbell of the person you love, the person you’re missing. That special soul in your life whom some trivial misunderstanding or miscommunication has prevented you from enjoying due to ego and self-importance.
Nisha is a celebrity designer and leading luxury brand consultant. You can write to her at nishajamvwal@gmail.com
Post new comment