To live in or get married
So Angela Jolie and Brad Pitt are thinking of getting married. About time too wouldn’t you say? I mean with half-a-dozen kids and six years of living in I’d say better late than never! And this brings me to the entire premise of live in relationships. Should one? Or should one not?
My personal opinion is that if you’re looking for marriage and commitment then it’s not an idea that might lead to a long term union. There is no such thing as a ‘trial marriage’. You can live together, put your dirty clothes in the same washing machine and share the same room but that does not a marriage make. I’ve often seen couples that live together seldom work out their problems the way a commitment makes you do.
Lovers, especially in the initial phase, that live together most often vehemently insist that a piece of paper is of no consequence especially in a day and age when divorces are available ‘nearly overnight’. When however they hit a rough patch they just up and go with just a cursory effort to patch it up.
At a recent television panel discussion in which I participated a heated pow wow ensued on this topic. To my stance opposing participants pointed out that the stability marriage offers especially in the Indian context, is more on a functional basis. Whereas, a live in relationship they is largely derived from an urgent and driving need for emotional and physical togetherness and intimacy.
My personal take is that I might still prefer the enhanced quality that life renders to the title ‘wife’. However it has to be said that human relationships especially in the man woman realm, have ever defied fixed formulas. This is why both situations should be entered into with much thought, commitment, responsibility and the ability to care, give and understand the need for individuality so that some degree of success and happiness is ensured.
The writer is a designer and celebrity columnist. She can be reached at nishajamvwal@gmail.com
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