Live-in ties under the moral scanner
It’s a bitter truth that despite the legal nod, live-in ties have still not won complete social acceptance. What’s more surprising are the views on the subject expressed by additional sessions judge Surinder S. Rathi while handing down a verdict to a woman for killing her live-in partner three years ago in the capital. He was quoted saying, “Traditionally speaking, live-in relationships were alien to our nation till late. Even today it is fad which is visible only in urban areas.” He further added that despite granting a level of legal legitimacy to live-in relationships, it is largely perceived to be an immoral relation in our society.
Supreme Court has stated that a man and woman living together without marriage cannot be construed as an offence. So is living-in still an alien concept?
“No, it’s not,” according to Banhi Dutta, HR consultant, who says, “How can it be an alien concept when it has been adopted by many? Some openly talk about it while others don’t. So, irrespective of what the court says, it doesn’t make any sense until strict laws are imposed and house owners don’t allow young couples to live-in. There’s also another category of people for whom live-in is a temporary arrangement. They are mostly students who opt for live-in for a short time and it’s widely prevalent in metros.”
Psychologist Dr Mallika Bhatia agrees and says, “Live-in is prevalent in urban India as that’s where people are ready to experiment. Many youngsters come to big cities to work, away from family, this freedom also makes them experiment. However, it’s still looked down upon in India as it is seen as an option of convenience. What attracts people is the freedom associated with a live-in relationship, minus the responsibility that marriage entails. Hence, it is difficult for us as a society to take a stand and say if it is just a fad or something that is here to stay.”
Manjula Saxena, associate professor, sociology, Maitreyi College, says, “Marriage is still a holy sacrament and many believe it’s essential to bind two people. The problem is not with relationships going bust, but what effect it will have on children. Live-in is still looked upon as immoral, despite many of them ending in marriages.”
Filmmaker Kaushik Mukherjee, who prefers to be known as Q, is in a live-in relationship. He says, “We are in a cusp of a very different time in India. When something changes, not everyone accepts it. To some extent, it’s an urban concept, a Western ideal, but so is capitalism and consumerism. Tribals in the country follow their own rules and allow the possibility of changing partners.”
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