A long way to go
The weather, the colour, the language, the skin colour might be different, but underneath it we all share similar emotions. I am in Valencia, Spain. I met Javier here, who has parted with his girlfriend in Brazil. “It was the distance that did us in,” he admits melancholically.
I too had to deal with a long distance relationship once, and it is a challenge. Once insecurity and jealousy kick in — composure is a distant dream. However hard you try you do have misgivings and may loose confidence in your partner. Feeling abandoned is normal. Doubt plays a big part in creating havoc. What may seem to be normal when you were together feels a little bit uncomfortable, such as his or her friendship with others. Harmless intentions seem like flirting.
The couple love each other, but misunderstandings abound sans eye contact, physical proximity and that inimitable sense of togetherness that comes from touch, feel and that special look! A phone just doesn’t measure up when trust issues creep in. You read so much into just a voice on the phone or a sentence on an Internet chat. The lull in the tone could really be just exhaustion, a work issue, or even just lack of sleep but is misunderstood for another man in her life.
With the distance it is often easy to misinterpret, misunderstand, or discount your partner’s feelings, words or actions on account of the difficulty of communication, clarity of intent or effort as contrasted with that of regular dating relationships. And this lack of communication spell trouble.
The question I’d ask myself here, is, is it worth it? Are you in a relationship worth fighting for? And if the answer is yes then one of the partners has to make the move to be with the other. A relationship is after all about being together in every sense. “It is pointless if it is going to be distant always,” avers Javier.
A relationship is not only about sweet nothings and romance. Adjustment and sacrifice is a large part and must come from both partners. A couple who are much in love, committed and completely honest about their feelings for each other surpass any obstacle that may threaten to ruin their relationship. However a long distance relationship that does not stand the test of time and tide is not worth fighting for even if you are tenacious and not the kind to abandon a commitment.
So Javier realised that it was time he moved on, not wanting more attachment to cause even more pain in that intense time for parting.
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