Three strong working women living under the same roof. A mother and two daughters. All opinionated dazzling and feisty. Any other country and they’d all have separate apartments but that’s the beauty of India, they live in the same home. They all get the best of belonging to the same world of glamour and celebrity. How does it work? Especially with Lillete and Ira working in the same play that debuted recently.
Interestingly, Tracy Letts’ darkly comic drama August: Osage County is about mothers and daughters, who verbally and physically abuse one another. During act two’s climax, one of the daughters Barbara throttles her mother played by Lillete and declares, “You don’t get it, do you? I’m running things now!”
Lillete tapped into her own emotions and explored feelings which may not always been pleasant. “You go into places inside you have left behind to essay a role. It is always a tussle for a mother, whether to mould a child or allow them to have their responses. But I realised very early that to give them a value system is the most important thing. I’ve allowed them to have free thinking opinions,” shares Lillete.
It’s quite obvious that daughters Neha and Ira are strong independent women with strong ideas. But I’ve known them for years and know that they make up their own minds. “For me they are like friends. Sometimes I put on the mummy cap but I realise they are grown up ‘people’ with whom I enjoy communicating on a personal and professional level. Yes, it is tempting to tell them how to live their lives. I have to keep pulling myself back. I’ve been there done that. If it’s very serious I don’t take the chance, I step on it and tell them. But what a mother has to realise is that the learning has to happen by going through an experience by yourself. To keep communication channels unclogged it is also important to hear feedback you don’t like to hear. It’s part of the journey. The flow cannot be one way and yet, however young, you have to keep the respect the child,” she says.
The bond between the three ladies is obvious. “I remember when Neha broke up with her first boyfriend and told me very emphatically to keep out. I was so worried but sat in my room forcing myself to go about my day. After an hour she came storming out saying, ‘Why didn’t you come in.’ I was surprised, and told her that it was she who had told me to ‘keep out of it’, to which Neha retorted, ‘You’re a mom, you’re supposed to come in and insist and cajole’. Sometimes you lose either way,” laughs Lillete.
“I want to be there always to hold their hands, but you have to let go and allow them to work it out themselves. After all they are individuals in their own right.”
Ira says, “As a child I was mom’s little poonch. Over the years, she has not only become a friend but has also shown both Neha and me how to be strong and do what we believe in. Being in the same profession, working together as actors has been especially enriching and I learn from her all the time. She’s been a wonderful mother and is a rockstar of a woman!”
Nisha JamVwal is a celebrity designer and leading luxury brand consultant. You can write to her at nishajamvwal@gmail.com