Men can’t win an argument, ever!

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When the venerable management guru par excellence, Shiv Khera, conducts his seminars, I am sure he clears up every possible cloud looming over positivity save for the one about waging a war against a woman. What’s the point really when you know the outcome already? Is it even correct to call it war when the result is a given even before the premises for launching said offensive are yet to be ascertained? When it comes to men and women arguing, men, you just can’t win!
But it’s OK really, we got away with a bouquet of other benefits and advantages although in retrospect, one must concede, peeing standing up isn’t all that it was made out to be.
So why do women fight with men? And then, why do they wage a war from both ends of the argument? How can, for example, a man be stubborn and then also be accused of changing his statement? How can one be considered detached and then be hauled up for being dramatic? Not only is this too complicated for our single-celled male brains to comprehend and execute such behaviour, it is downright impossible!
Here it would be good to point out (yet) another male weakness: a proclivity to never remember dates or things, or places, or faces, or events, or just about anything that isn’t happening right now or doesn’t involve something we can stick batteries in and show off to our other friends. Why bother, it’s mostly irrelevant really. If men were meant to remember everything, why would God have given women such super astute razor sharp memories? But women, instead of sympathising, exploit this shortcoming ruthlessly.
I am sure that men have been in arguments where they were accused of things that they didn’t even do/say, but in knowledge of their ailing memory, they meekly acquiesced to their counterparts and submitted to the allotted punishment.
And then, just as backup, women have a super weapon, one to be pulled out if ever and when their trademark brand of utter illogic fails — tears. No duct or dam burst ever drowned a man’s hopes or resolve faster than tears on the face of a loved fair one. Boy do we get played!
Not that in victory do women come out winners! The aftermath of a couple-tussle is rarely pretty and leaves both sides emotionally inflicted and mentally dishevelled. We all know the effects but nobody seems to know the cause. Women fight because they think they can change men; men retaliate because they don’t see the need for it. Women get angry because men seem resolutely irresponsible, whereas men thrive on being boys. Men find women strict and constraining while women feel that an unsupervised man is a runaway train wreck waiting to happen.
The last of advices to give here is to learn to live with each other. ‘In spite of each other’ may be more apt. Dear men, forget winning, aim for survival.
And dear women, nothing worse than a Mr Right whose first name is ‘Always’ or ‘Never’; settle then please for ‘Almost’.

The author is a lover of wine, song and other things fine

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