Yummy mummies are passe, it’s all about the Tiger Mother now. Professor Amy Chua, a 48-year-old writer and mother of two daughters who studied at Yale has created a huge buzz with her bestseller Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, a book that preaches the virtues of tough love when dealing with kids.
Amy firmly believes that a child should be severely punished and humiliated if he/she doesn’t get straight As. Taking part in drama and school plays is unnecessary, the child must be at least two years ahead of the current maths syllabus that is being taught, play dates and hanging with friends is unnecessary and TV and computer games are to be banned as well.
Childhood should basically be all about following your parents’ advice blindly, studying, studying, and studying a bit more and learning a respectable instrument like piano or violin. No drum cos they are a bit rock ‘n’ roll, which means can lead to drugs! And when her kids don’t live up to her standards they are called garbage. She even threatened to donate one child’s doll house to charity if she didn’t master the latest piano lesson taught to her!
This lady makes stepmothers from fairtytales seem affectionate and caring when you first read about her, but Amy is just an extreme version of the average Indian parent. Sadly, many Indian parents are the main villains in their children’s lives. Relationship expert Seema Hingorani says, “Why do you think kids have so much stress today? Why are so many committing suicide?” She says that though parents are in denial, it’s because of them pressuring the children that these issues are cropping up everywhere. This is so true, how many parents actually listen to their kids or let them be? At least Amy is controlling her kids’ childhood, but Indian parents want to control their kids’ entire lives. In childhood your subjects, ‘interests’, hobbies, friends and timetable are chosen by your parents. When you start growing up they decide what should be your career choice and when it’s time to get married, guess who chooses you life partner as well. In the name of love parents love to rule their offsprings’ live. They don’t want to let go and let them live even for a moment. Why is this? Seema explains, “It’s a vicious cycle, the older generation was controlled by their parents so they feel it’s okay for them to control their children now.” It doesn’t matter whether you belong to a rich or a middle-class family, an average Indian parent’s mindset is the same. They believe it’s their birthright to boss over kids.
Whether it’s emotional blackmail, disinheritance or even violence, parents stoop to any level to get their way. But the problem is that today’s generation is rebelling. Kids don’t want to be saying, ‘Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full,’ all the time. Even in Amy’s case, her elder daughter who is brilliant in studies told her mother in front of an entire restaurant, “I hate my life, I hate violin and I hate you.”
So you wonder if 24x7 tough love is worth it in the end?
In your old age when you need loving children to depend upon, they might just send you packing to the nearest old age home.