The unbearable loss of a child

It t was a Thursday, I clearly remember. Our phone rang; I picked it up, and was surprised to hear from a boy from our neighbouring village, who was in France along with my son Rajinder. “Something terrible has happened to Babu (Rajinder),” he said, sounding choked and distraught.
The first thought that crossed my mind was that Rajinder had been arrested by the police as he was living in France without a valid visa.
I asked him if that’s what had happened, but he remained silent. It was only minutes later that he found the courage to tell me that my son had fallen on the railway track, and died after succumbing to his injuries.
The news hit me like a lightning bolt, and I immediately fell on the floor. I don’t remember who picked me up and for some days was completely blank. It is not easy for a mother to hear about the death of her young son.
My son was very brave and whatever happened to him was extremely shocking. We were told that his courage to stand up to a goon was the cause of his death. The incident took place while he was travelling in a train.
There were some “English girls” in the same compartment. A man was trying to take advantage of the girls. One of the girls took cover behind my son as the man snatched her purse and was trying to rough her up.
Babu managed to overpower the man and gave him a few blows and returned the purse to the girl. After the beating, the man vanished from the scene.
However, after a while, he emerged again and started abusing Babu. My son tried to avoid him, but the man refused to listen. Babu, however, stayed silent and just asked the man to leave.
When he didn’t stop, my son finally got irritated and decided to get off the train, when the man pushed him on to the tracks. The other boys jumped to pick up Babu. They told me that he was breathing at that time. Doctors also rushed to the site, but could not save him. I am sure if that man had not hit my son from behind, Babu would have overpowered him. My Babu was a sher puttar.
It took 15 days for Babu’s body to reach India. The French metro paid the fare to fly his body back to our hometown. The entire incident has disillusioned us.
Babu was a responsible son. He was working very hard and saving up to get his sister married. In France, he worked as newspaper delivery man and also did other odd jobs. He used to send us money regularly too. A month before his death, Babu called me and told me not to worry about my daughter’s wedding.
His sister was to be married in October, Babu passed away in September. The wedding was later cancelled. Babu has been hailed as a hero in France. My son stood up for the right cause. After his death, a lot of people came to visit us.
The local administration has also announced that they would build a gate in Babu’s name.
However, the French government has barely done anything to help. There was a call from the French embassy once. They wanted some papers to file a case in France. But there was no offer of help. They may have forgotten Babu, but for me, he will always be my hero.
We are small farmers, our holding is even less than an acre. The land is not enough to feed us, so we take land from other people on lease and work on it, to make a living. My husband has retired from the Army, and he gets a small pension.
As per Babu’s wishes, our daughter will get married this year. It has not been easy for us to arrange for the wedding in Babu’s absence, as we are barely able to make ends meet.
My younger son is in America, because there is no future for him in our village. He crossed into America through the Mexican border, and was detained by the American police. In America, he was in jail for four months. Now, after this entire ordeal, he is out of jail and trying to make a living.
As a mother, I really want him to return. I can’t relive another shattering experience. But I have had to bury this desire too due to our financial problems.

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