What women want
A woman wants to be with a man who makes her feel special
Recently a man asked me, “Nisha, please tell me what turns women on? They are so difficult to figure out!” Yes I agree, and it might take me a book to answer that question.
Men try to figure us out, but they don’t always succeed. Things would be so much easier if they had a few clues, if they could figure out special moments that mattered to us. I’m not saying we want gushing men who are fussing over us all the time, but yes, to be better understood works in forging better relationships. So when I met an ardent reader of this column recently, and he urged me to write about “what women essentially want in a man”, I thought I should ask some of my friends about those “success factors” that would clinch the deal for them. Or even major putoffs that one should be wary of.
Let’s start with the “spare-me” types. Freeloaders and name-droppers make women want to run a mile away. Many men feel that overdosing on brands and showing-off adds to the appeal. I recently met a man at a club whose opening line was how he knew and had dinner with a well known industrialist ‘so often.’ Until that second, I’d put him down as the pleasant sorts. It took that one boast for me to change my opinion.
On a serious note, what women want is a man who can make them feel special. Men give up so easily just because a woman doesn’t respond exactly the way they hope when they approach her. Even husbands retreat emotionally because their wives aren’t as playful as they were when they first dated. A woman wants a man with whom she can experience a more meaningful, emotionally fulfilling life than she would with most other guys she meets.
The essential list — A man who doesn’t lie about little or big things. A man who is the provider and makes you feel protected, like he’s got it all under control. A man who is not stingy about ‘small change’, figuratively speaking. Most women I spoke said this one thing — attention. A man who makes you feel like you are the only woman in the whole world, like he’s proud of you, and does not let his eyes rove all around the place when you are with him. It is horrible when a man looks at the knees of a PYT (pretty young thing) at the next table while sitting with you. And yes, a corollary to that is that he is interested in what you’re saying. That his attention does not stray while you are speaking. We all wish that we could be with men who knew how to make us feel like real women. And of course, opening doors, pulling out the chair and taking your coat off in an age of equality is, believe it or not, even more charming.
Almost every modern woman fantasises about meeting a man who has the confidence to walk up to her, start a conversation and be natural and charismatic. It is a common myth that women will go up to a man and strike up a conversation, it only works that way in movies.
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