Yogi Ashwini

let’s take a look at the level at which most marriages exist. And that is the level of attachment. When one thinks that s/he cannot live without the other, it is mistaken as love. These are mere connections which normally fail to become marriages and often result in what we see as divorce these days. The basic concept of marriage — “togetherness and oneness” — is lacking in these relationships. People are so tied up, so blinded by their own selfish needs that they act like two separate individuals. The modern concepts of “individuality”, “identity” and “space” have crept into almost every single relationship today and the whole concept of marriage looks like a mockery of marriage in real terms. Yet, it is so difficult to let go of the person.
It is sense of possession, when you want a complete hold on your spouse, on what s/he is doing, who they are meeting, where they are going. You want the person entirely the way you think s/he should be.
Jealousy, anger, lack of faith are all lower emotions and are far away from togetherness. In a marriage based on these kind of emotions, the relationship, the house and the environment around in in complete disharmony. These marriages are connected at the solar plexus, or the surya chakra.
A connection formed on the basis of love is much higher and has no ties. It is established at the anahat chakra, the seat of selfless love. Love can never hold you back or tie you with emotions and conditions. It is selfless; it sets you free because you are happy in the happiness of the person you love, unconditionally.
Though it’s a rarity to find connections based on love today, even rarer are connections established on the basis of creativity, i.e. at the level of vishudhi chakra. This is the higher form of creativity, where people unite when they have risen over their selfish needs and can now think beyond themselves. Higher form of creativity can be understood as creating institutions, charitable organisations or even awareness to help people who are in need. One step over one’s own needs.
Then comes the highest energy centre in a being, ajna chakra or the seat of Lord Shiva in a human body. The connection formed at this centre is so subtle that in this day and age — the third phase of kalyug — it is nearly impossible to find a connection at this level. Only people who have transcended the physical, the emotional, who’ve surpassed the level of love and creativity at the physical level can connect at this highest and subtlest level of existence. This is the union of Shiva and Shakti, complete in every respect.
A human being evolves when he experiences the qualities of every chakra and rises over them. It is nearly impossible to connect at all these levels in a single relationship. So, to experience and evolve over a chakra, these connections used to be formed. This was the reason why in earlier times the rishis used to have more than one wife even though they were ascetics.
But a marriage is not simply a means to have experiences to evolve. It comes with responsibility of the spouse for both partners. When you marry someone, the complete responsibility of the spouse is yours and you have to look after the physical, material, emotional and all other requirements of the partner throughout life with love and respect. That is a marriage.
Vedic philosophy is so huge and vast that it covers every aspect of nature, all levels of Creation. Based on the nature of the beings of various dimensions, marriages are categorised as five kinds.
Manav vivah or the kinds of marriages we see today are the ones which require a ceremony and are intended to last a lifetime. The concept of love marriage is not a modern concept; it used to happen earlier also and was called the gandharva vivah, implying that if two people wish to get married without a ceremony, it is possible and permissible. They can merely exchange garlands and get married. They don’t need a ceremony to announce to the world that they are married. If the connection is from the heart and you are prepared to bear complete responsibility of the person you love, you are married. But relationships which fail to fulfil even the basic requirements of the spouse cannot be called a marriage even if it is performed with rituals. Even a demonic marriage is not devoid of responsibility.
The third type, the demonic or asuric vivah, is when you forcibly marry the other person, against his or her wishes (can be a case of sexual assault). However, this person has to look after all the physical and material needs of the person during his/her lifetime. This was a norm with the rakshas clan, definitely not meant for the human race. Here also complete love and respect is given to the person and there is no getting out of it after carnal desires are fulfilled.
The fourth kind is yaksha vivah. Yakshas are the guardians of Gods. This marriage is a ceremony by rituals and lasts longer than the manav vivah but not as long as the fifth one, the deva vivah. Deva means Gods. Blessed by the higher forces of nature, this ceremony takes 13 months to be completed and lasts for seven lifetimes. In these seven lifetimes, couples carry out specific higher responsibilities and then move towards joining the deva lok.
Matching of horoscopes was nothing else but a match of the chakras. This science was perfected by the Vedic rishis and given to mankind as a blessing.

This is the final of a two-part series. The first part appeared on January 11

— Yogi Ashwini is an authority on yoga, tantra and the Vedic sciences. He is the guiding light of Dhyan Foundation. He has recently written a book, Sanatan Kriya: 51 Miracles... And a Haunting.
Contact him at dhyan@dhyanfoundation.com