Pre-battle jitters
My limbs give way, my throat is parched, a shiver runs through my body… my hair stands on end, my skin burns all over, my mind is in a whirl, I can no longer hold myself steady…”
High school student’s pre-examination jitters?
Expectant father outside the labour room?
Bride’s mother on the day before the grand festivities?
I deliberately omitted the revealing words, “and Krishna, the Gandiva (bow) slips from my hands….” from the verses cited above (29,30:1, Srimad Bhagavad Gita), to retain the element of suspense.
This is a very contemporary-sounding Arjuna on the verge of war, voicing his thoughts on seeing his kinsmen arrayed in battle formations (drishtvema svajanam krishna yuyutsum samupasthitam, 28:1).
The average student wishes to avoid examinations or get them over with soon. The expectant father wants the baby born and the mother safe and sound. The bride’s mother hopes for all the wedding ceremonies to pass off without a hitch. Stressful situations, all.
It is evident that the metaphors for nervousness have not changed over the centuries. While the underlying reasons for panic or tension may differ from person to person, the physical manifestations of stress tend to be very similar.
Arjuna claims to see inauspicious omens and negative portents on the battlefield. His mind is tormented by the forces of indecision: the military conflict about to begin on the battlefield is no match for the battle raging inside his mind. “Far better it would be, if the Kauravas were to kill me instead, as I sit unarmed and unresisting!” he says.
Parantapa, “the scorcher of foes”, as Arjuna is repeatedly addressed as by Krishna, is plagued by some very difficult questions. How does one spill the blood of one’s own kin and yet hope not to incur sin? “I do not want to slay them even in return for sovereignty over the three worlds, much less one kingdom,” he says, with the prospect of bloodshed in lieu of kingdom looming large on the horizon.
Na kaankshe vijayam krishna na cha raajyam sukhaani cha
Kim no raajyena govinda kim bhogair jeevitena vaa (32:1)
“I do not yearn for victory, or kingdom, or comforts and pleasures, O Krishna. Of what use will kingdom or luxuries or life itself be to us ? (if all these kin perish)”
Summing up Arjuna’s state of agony and dejection, Sanjaya, the commentator, tells his master, the king Dhritarashtra, “Arjuna thus cast away his bow and arrows and sank into the recesses of his chariot. ”
Arjuna’s self-doubt, Krishna’s counsel and Sanjaya’s commentary form the central thread or the story-line of the Song Divine (the Bhagavad Gita). Whether one reads it as mythology, poetry or gospel, one experiences the thrill that a conversation between the human and the divine can never fail to bring.
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