Trap of I-ness
Ever wondered how often we use the word “I”, not only to address ourselves but also to glorify our deeds. The tendency to take credit and always emphasising, “I did this I did that”, fills us with haumai (pride), which does not allow us to enjoy small pleasures of life and acts as a hurdle in life. What’s more, a man filled with haumai cannot walk the path of liberation. Guru Ram Das says, “Haumai and remembrance of God’s name are at variance with each other. The two will not live in the same abode.”
Haumai, meaning “I am”, is described as an inner disease and the persons afflicted with this disease fail to realise the higher truth. It is marked by egoism and individualism, hence it affects our relationships with others. When one is self-centred because of haumai he is referred to as manmukh and his whole life is determined and shaped by haumai only. “In haumai he comes and in haumai he goes; in haumai he is born and in haumai he dies... in haumai he pays regard, sometimes to virtue and sometimes to vice...” says Guru Nanak.
Haumai engulfs the mind of the manmukh and he remains in a state of ignorance and selfishness. The manmukh depends upon his own calculations and his mind is occupied with greed, lust, arrogance and anger. “He is lost in the wilderness of his own delusions and passions.” The manmukh is compared to a stone which, even if kept in water for long, remains unsoaked at heart. His haumai is the real reason of his ignorance and evil impulses. No wonder haumai is compared to a spiritual blindness.
But then what’s the way out? How to get rid of this malady? The first step is to turn into a gurmukh from a manmukh, that is, to orient oneself towards guru. A gurmukh meditates on nam or the divine word and abides by the hukam (command) of the guru. He realises the ultimate truth that everything happens according to His will and His raza (wish). What we are —nothing but just mortal beings. Guru Nanak says, “All come within the hukam, none beyond its authority. They who comprehend the hukam, O Nanak, Renounce their self-centred pride.”
Humility, the antithesis of haumai, is the hallmark of a gurmukh since “the door of salvation is narrow and he who is humble passes through it.” How can the mind that has grown gross with ego pass through it? With guru’s grace one realises His hukam and devotes one’s mind on the singing of His praises, that is, shabad, in the company of sadh-sangat (pious company). Nam-simran (God contemplation by way of remembering His name) helps in the removal of all evils and weaknesses.
Kulbir Kaur teaches sociology at Shyama Prasad Mukherji College, Delhi University
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