Prime Minister David Cameron’s visit to India was in the news in the UK, but only because of his remarks on Pakistan. So what happened to the 90-strong entourage? This was enough for at least one large all-singing, all-dancing Bollywood extravaganza scene, complete with Prime Minister Manmohan Singh humming “Singh is King… Singh is King… Singh is King”. Apart from cruel cartoons showing Cameron as a slumdog begging for alms from a millionaire Singh, Mr Cameron’s India visit has only created a media impact following his remarks that Pakistan must not look “both ways”. Perhaps in such an old historic relationship it would take a very large earthquake to generate headline grabbing moments. Or could it also be that in state visits, most people would ask “But what’s in it for me?” and lose interest.
Perhaps security problems, i.e., terrorism emanating out of Pakistan, are issues which do concern all of us and therefore become essential grist for the media mill. And what could generate more fear and excitement than the thought of an angered Pakistan? But believe me, this is simply untrue. In the world of David Cameron, who is the world’s most optimistic Prime Minister, it is possible to be a friend of both, India and Pakistan. And I can assure you that when the Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari visits UK early next month, he will have the time of his life at Chequers, Mr Cameron’s country home. All this gnashing of teeth and mock anger at Mr Cameron’s statements will be history, but the so-called anti-Pakistan remarks will have pleased the Indians hugely.
It has been a clever move because it has completely distracted everyone from the other big elephant in the room: the issue of the immigration cap on non-EU (European Union) workers, which for some reason is exercising Indian industry and the Indian government. However, this should not be allowed to become an emotive issue — because in reality it barely affects the relationship between the two countries. There is a strong and thriving diaspora in the UK which is quite capable of looking after its own self interests, and the Indian government should not fall into the trap of pandering to businessmen who feel that they can, by importing cheap Indian labour, somehow make a quick buck. After all, if you invest in another country you should be quite prepared to employ local talent and expertise, and not be so obsessed with carrying your Indian chefs and masala makers with you. Nor is the Indian professional so bereft of opportunities that he or she has to come to Britain.
UK and, in fact, London has a large and comfortable Asian presence, and certainly, we have taken over most of the service counters in almost every large department store or shopping mall. We are in the National Health Service and are employed in most corporations. We are already well represented here, and there is no need to feel that the immigration cap is a racist backlash. It is an internal problem of the British government which is struggling to deal with recession and the huge bill of social services and should not be misread as a policy to exclude.
In fact, even those of Indian origin who live here, do state that this is after all an island, and there is no sense in permitting the quality of the local services to deteriorate because they simply cannot take the pressure of more migrants. There is an equal worry about EU migrants — but they cannot be prevented from coming as the EU permits free movement between its member countries. Remember this is a highly subsidised welfare society — with free medicare and excellent public services. Part of the joy of living here is the fact that, as yet, the country’s scarce resources have not been stretched to the point of breaking down completely. If policies of open immigration continue then the fear is that perhaps one day London will be as overcrowded as Delhi — with chronic shortages of water and electricity, and huge mountains of garbage everywhere.
Next week I will be in Delhi, and already a new electricity inverter is being installed in my home because of the frequent outages. This summer we have been calling water tankers and I have no doubt that when I reach, if it is raining, the roads around the house will be flooded. Those who raise their voices against “immigration caps” must look around India’s capital and see what happens when uncontrolled migration takes place. The free movement of people between countries is an idyllic thought — but perhaps phasing the migration over time may be a more pragmatic move.

MEANWHILE, ANOTHER stalwart bites the dust. I always wondered how long it would take to happen… After all, be honest, how many people do you know have admitted over a quiet drink in a noisy bar (where they cannot possibly be overheard) that they have picked up a Salman Rushdie book and been unable to complete it? However, they always add, rolling their eyes and with gritted teeth, “But he writes so well… one day I must finish it”. And so the years fly by. And many Rushdie books pile up unread.
However, now finally the real reason may have been revealed. Sir Salman Rushdie has been named, among other literary leading lights, by the former Weidenfield professor of comparative literature at Oxford University, Gabriel Josipovici, as “profoundly disappointing”.
He adds that “You feel Rushdie’s just showing off rather than giving a sense of genuine exploration”. Sacrilege! will be the united scream which goes up around the world of Rushdie worshippers. But wait, Professor Josipovici has not spared Ian McEwan or Martin Amis either in an interview to the Guardian newspaper. About those writers, such as Ian McEwan who have graduated from the University of East Anglia’s creative writing course, he says, “They all tell stories in a way that is well crafted , but that is the most depressing aspect of it — a careful craft which seems to me to be hollow”.
And, shock and horror, he has included hamara Noble Prize-wallah V.S. Naipaul in the list. He says that while Guerillas, the 1975 story written by Naipaul is “exquisitely crafted” it was one “to which we certainly would not want to return”. So those of you who were trying to complete reading it for the 66th time, put it away, there is absolutely no point. Prof Josipovici has spoken.
And now the debate has been joined by Park Honan, emeritus professor of English and American literature at Leeds University, who blames the electronic media for the decline of literature. “We are becoming superficial”, he says. Becoming superficial? Wake up, profs, we are superficial.
Now, let me grab my iPhone and download my abbreviated audio-version of Alice in Wonderland…

n The writer can be contacted at
kishwardesai@yahoo.com