Yours, obsessively
Jan.29 : I dislike clutter. Clutter of any kind — in my wardrobe, on my desk, around my work space, by my bedside.
At home, I try and arrange things in neat stacks — often unsuccessfully because other members of the family have different housekeeping ideas. I am a bit obsessive about symmetry.
I also double-check door locks and appliances such as geysers and airconditioners to be sure that they are locked/switched off. And when in the kitchen, I have often glanced at the knobs of the cooking range — just in case the gas is not turned off.
In a neighbourhood grocery shop I almost rearranged two items on a shelf that I thought did not belong there. I say almost because I realised what I was about to do, took a deep breath, and stopped.
If there are more than 50 emails in my inbox, I tend to delete the extra ones or put them away in another folder. It’s the limit I have set for myself; there’s no logic behind the number. The same goes for the 24 icons on the computer screen. I am used to seeing that many and no more. I have often deleted temporary folders from my desktop in a hurry, only to regret later because I needed the information. And I empty out the recycle bin as if it’s causing me dust allergy.
I have many more examples of my fetish for order and symmetry. I am told there’s a word in Bengali for people like me: peet-petay, meaning a finicky person. People at the receiving end of my idiosyncratic behaviour, however, tell me that I suffer from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). According to popular medical websites, OCD is an anxiety-related condition that “causes people to have unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and to repeat certain behaviour (compulsions)”. In friendly conversations, the term is often used to define a crotchety person with habits such as those described above.
I am so used to being made fun of that I have never even bothered to check the exact symptoms — till I read a news item recently that dogs too suffer from OCD, and there is a gene that causes it.
A team of scientists at Tufts University, University of Massachusetts and MIT compared the genomes of dogs with compulsive behaviour with those of normal dogs, and have identified a gene that makes breeds such as Dobermans and Bull Terriers susceptible to what they call “Canine Control Disorder”. It makes them “chase their tails, lick their legs till they become infectious, snap at imaginary flies and go round and round their food”.
Humans, too, have the same gene and researchers are now studying a group of some 300 people who have OCD (nearly two in every 100 humans are said to suffer from it), their relatives and those without the psychiatric disorder to see if the gene is linked to obsessive-compulsive behaviour.
According to the OCD Foundation website, the symptoms in humans include a phobia of germs that makes them wash their hands and bathe many times a day, compulsive dusting and cleaning, a fear of causing harm to others, of making mistakes, a need for order and symmetry — behaviour that gets in the way of their daily lives. They are constantly governed by the rules they make for themselves.
In the movie As Good As It Gets, Jack Nicholson suffered from OCD. He follows a set routine day in and day out, and wouldn’t step on joints in the paving. Entertainment websites say that Leonardo DiCaprio, too, has a thing about stepping on sidewalk cracks, Charlize Theron likes to tidy drawers and David Beckham wants everything in pairs. If he has three of something, he will either discard one or buy another to make an even number.
Some people with OCD tend to hoard useless things; they have a problem getting rid of stuff. I read a story of a woman, a retired college professor in New York, who accumulated so much clutter that she had trouble entering her apartment. She was embarrassed. Doctors say that in most cases people with OCD are aware of their obsessions and compulsions.
But what horrified me was the debilitating effect it can have: “OCD is a cruel taskmaster”, reads one comment on the New York Times story on the new research. “It casts doubt on every decision… If something works out or is a pleasure, it brings up a different, unsolvable problem and destroys any good feelings…”
I don’t know if I can control my compulsive traits. All I can say is I am now more conscious of it, and I am trying to resist the urge to realign furniture and empty the ashtrays. But I must confess it isn’t easy.
Shekhar Bhatia
Shekhar Bhatia can be contacted at shekhar.bhatia@gmail.com
