In matters of the heart and conjugal bliss, infidelity is the darkest demon. And it strikes even the most seemingly picture perfect marriages of the glam and the gorgeous.
Recently actress Demi Moore ended her marriage with Ashton Kutcher after he allegedly cheated on her on their sixth anniversary. Infidelity was the deal breaker, as Demi’s statement read, “It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life.”
Other celebrities who didn’t put up with a cheating partner include Hollywood actress Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver who were married for 25 years, and even our very own Deepika Padukone voiced her opinion on reality show Emotional Atyachar. “If you cannot be loyal then don’t be in a relationship, stop hurting people who love you,” she said watching the cheats on the show.
There is no room for infidelity in a relationship and it is foolish to brush it aside as a minor problem, believes Sonia Wadhera, event organiser. She says, “Once bitten, twice shy. If you’ve cheated once, you’ll cheat again. And why should one’s partner tolerate it? Even if one is a high profile person, one’s partner deserves loyalty and the right to live with dignity and such things can’t be brushed under the carpet.” She further adds, “There’s no question of forgiveness.”
Avinash Nair, advertising professional, feels that times are changing and modern day relationships are turning more liberal and permissive, but infidelity still remains unacceptable. “On the peripheral level we may seem to be extremely broad-minded, but deep inside we are still insecure. If the West, which is considered to be liberal, doesn’t tolerate it, how can we?” he adds.
Avinash blames it on the restless nature of the “remote control culture”. “You skip one channel to another, hop jobs, so this attitude reflects in relationships as well. It will be interesting to see how marriage will cope with societal changes in the future,” he points out.
In most cases, it’s the women who’ve taken a stand against infidelity, stressing that it’s not acceptable. Taruna Singh, communication consultant says, “No matter how open a relationship may be, infidelity is not tolerated, be it by a man or woman. It is about making a commitment. If you cannot commit to one person while you’re in a relationship, then there is no need to be in one. You’d rather be single and having casual sex in that case. According to me, there is absolutely no excuse for infidelity.”
Psychologist Dr Geetanjali Kumar says that loyalty needs to be redefined. “Relationships do need 100 per cent commitment and loyalty, but the person who feels cheated needs to acknowledge how many cues s/he missed by her/his partner in the relationship. Today, relationships are not nurtured and are ended without any remorse. Couples need to work on their relationship continuously to make it last.”