Rejection in love takes violent turn

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Matters related to the heart can sometimes take an ugly turn. While some love stories are fairytales, for others they turn out to be nightmares. In a recent case, a jilted lover allegedly stabbed to death a teenage girl who rejected his proposal and critically injured her sister when they were on their way to work in South Delhi. According to Delhi Police statistics, 18 per cent of the 543 murders committed last year were due to love affairs and relationship failures. Such cases highlight how love is proving to be the key catalyst in hate crimes. So be it rejection in love or the lack of acceptance of it, experts tells us what’s triggering such volatile reactions in cases of unrequited love.
Psychologist and director of NGO Swanchetan Dr Rajat Mitra says it’s not love but rejection that triggers love-related crimes. “Today’s generation is not told how to take ‘no’ for an answer. Youngsters don’t know how to accept rejection with grace. It’s a rapid behavioral change and one can easily predict that love-related crimes will only increase in times to come,” he says.
Often when experts deal with criminals or obsessed lovers on a psychological level, it is found that most of them belong to well to do families. “When you talk to these criminals about their background, you can easily tell that they have never been taught to accept ‘no’. They were always given what they wanted, so they feel if they cannot possess something, it can’t belong to anyone else as well. And this is not love, it’s obsession,” adds Rajat.
Confirming the statistics, Rajan Bhagat, PRO, Delhi Police tells us, “All of these 18 per cent cases involved the two parties. The murders were plotted by one of the two partners. And most of these cases happen in urban set-ups.”
When 23-year-old Rajat Kapuria (name changed on request) couldn’t handle the regular suicide threats from his girlfriend, he decided to call it quits. What followed was a series of threatening texts from her, after which he reported the matter to the girl’s family. “She just couldn’t accept that I wanted to leave her. When I broke up with her, she started taking drugs just to get sympathy and when none of this affected me, she threatened me by saying she would kill herself. That’s when I called her parents and they took her to a psychologist. I know many people who are facing similar issues in their relationships too, where one partner is completely obsessed with the other,” he tells us.
Dr Rima Sehgal, a counsellor, says it’s the low frustration tolerance that is causing this impulsive behaviour. “A Class 11 boy recently told me about a girl who he had recently broken up with. The girl could not accept the break-up and was so upset that this boy had to call her parents and ask them to take care of her. The problem is we are turning into a society high on materialism and egotism, which is making us lonelier. So the need for attention is triggering such reactions in people,” she says.