Stay silent, and you’ll ‘see’ the other person

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Ok, it’s now time to start wrapping up what has been a long reply to one confused kid. I told you the trick of how to “see yourself” in a moment of madness. In theory, it’s simple — first train your mind to watch itself during normal times, and whenever you feel you are losing control, switch to the trained observer inside.

It’s a simple switch, which might well save your life, your career or create a personal moment of history. I say this because great opportunities always accompany dangerous situations, and having that extra edge of coolness makes a big difference between instant success and dismal failure. It could be a job interview where the right remark in the right tone elevates you, or a first date, where you rein in your impulses and stay quiet when saying anything would have broken a magic spell.
The next technique is to “see the other” during a crisis. I cannot stress how important this is. Nobody really “sees” the other person for who they are. Boys only think about themselves, and girls are just the same. So if a chick is “cute”, it’s because you just saw her curves, her smile and her sexy dress. You never noticed anything about her that gives you knowledge. If a guy is “rocking”, you just watched his height, the way he speaks, his new bike and, of course, that smile. You are still clueless about how he will behave in an abnormal situation.
“Seeing the other” isn’t about Googling or gathering information. It’s about gaining knowledge from intuition. So how do you do it? To “see” a person you need to fall completely silent first. By silence, I mean you should switch off the endless chatter of thoughts that keep bombarding your mind. It’s like a tiger crouching and falling silent so it can hear the soft footfall of the deer. If you want to observe the other, learn to fall silent like the tiger. Gather your senses to yourself. Become still. Allow the power of your intuition to gather flecks of luminous knowledge. Slowly, you’ll begin to “see” the other person.
You’ll begin to get bits and pieces of insight, which are unknown even to the person. Small giveaways that reveal or betray what they may want to hide. Mind you, this isn’t knowledge or information. It’s informed intuition, and it’s in the wordless language of emotion, which is far more powerful than words.
“Seeing the other” has its effects too. The person you are “seeing” will usually become aware of it. This elevates their regard for you instantly. It’s ironic. You’re reading the map of their mind, and yet they’re thrilled to bits. People crave attention so much that the moment they see someone falling silent before them, they start singing. Make sure the few words you speak are honest, caring words. Follow this up with a genuine heart and a positive attitude, and you will rock wherever you go. Never misuse the intuition you gain or reveal a person’s secrets — it will have serious repercussions.
There’s one last thing I promised my readers: “Seizing the moment” — how to turn a situation to your advantage. We’ll talk about that next week.