When the lissom supermodel Dipannita Sharma got married, she broke many hearts. What piqued the curiosity of many was what constituted the man who made her take that giant leap into wedlock.
What did Dipannita see in a man to make him ‘the’ one? She answers, “I think the first thing that attracted me to Dilsher was his confidence. The gentle yet don’t-mess-with-me attitude, which I see in very few men. His most striking quality is that he is a man of character.”
What is it that prompts a woman’s heart to make a decision so forever and final? She says, “I was very clear that the man I thought of long term would make an impact on me instantly, and be attractive to me. Security in a relationship is important, as is the fact that a man must be comfortable in his own skin and shouldn’t try too hard. A steady job gives me a sense of security as I come from a solid professional background. It’s true what they say — ‘judge a man by the company he keeps’ — and Dilsher has a set of really good friends. An understanding of things, in general, makes a man more analytical and that’s the only way he’ll be able to understand you.”
Marriage brings change, and life becomes different. “We are responsible for and answerable to each other. There are no perfect ingredients for a happy marriage, despite the fact that you need to work on it. There are no rules. To understand each other there is a lot of give and take. A strong bond and connection is possible only when both at the core love each other immensely,” she says.
Dipannita married late by Indian standards at 31, but she was not daunted by timelines. With a successful career and self-assured personality, she was in no tearing hurry to get married. “I met Dilsher in 2006 and we married in 2008 — I don’t think a timeline for meeting the person you really want to be with is possible. In India, there is a lot of pressure to get married in the early twenties which I don’t conform to. Good or bad experiences are part of the game.”
When Dipannita got married, she was suddenly living with someone and sharing a space after being independent for years. The adjustment and re-configuring of one’s ‘space’ was a challenge. “Of course marriage requires a lot of adjustment but when you’re happy in the relationship, they are just things you do to make each other happy. Everything stems from how happy you are in a relationship... differences of opinion and fights are a part of marriage but if the two people involved want to work things out, it’ll be a happy one. Eventually, it is about how badly you want these two things to work out — relationship and work. My husband is a huge help, he gives me my space and helps me balance both. We try to do things together, even if it might just be something as simple as grocery shopping, to enable us to spend time together. Work is important in determining a healthy relationship, defining your individuality and determining self-respect, and thereby, making a relationship stronger,” she says.
Infidelity is often a concern within a marriage, especially in the glamour world. To this she says, “Longevity and faithfulness is very important and while it’s natural to feel attracted towards one or two people other than your partner in the course of a marriage, what you do with that attraction is completely your choice. You have to pull away because you are committed. If you are terribly attracted to someone, then there’s a choice you make — whether that attraction is worth giving up your relationship for. I don’t think I would be able to forgive either myself or my man if any of us were unfaithful.”
Nisha JamVwal is a celebrity designer and leading luxury brand consultant. You can write to her at
nishajamvwal@gmail.com [1]
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