Uff! First nights

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Vaise toh hamare desh mein tarah-tarah ke parv and tyohar hain, but one very special place is reserved for one special day in the lives of our young, virile and mostly virgin TV people — suhaag raat. As you know, suhaag raat precedes honeymoon and predates libido-threatening domesticity. It’s a trailer of things to come, on the couple’s honeymoon, that is.

It’s a night to celebrate, a night to remember. In fact, so important is suhaag raat that the girl’s sasuraal-wale get all excited and giggly and spend a fortune in decking up the room and bed with flowers, mood lighting, vagehra.
Things are whispered in the girl’s ear, stiff drinks are poured for the boy, and then the bride and the groom are pushed into the bedroom and the door’s locked from outside. Sachchi baat yeh hai that since the good people of Bade Achche Lagte Hain (Sony) started showing promos of Priya and Ram Kapoor’s forthcoming suhaag raat, I’ve been scanning TV shows — old and new — in search of the best suhaag raat on telly.
Vishvastra sutron se mujhe pata laga hai that there may have been a nice, wholesome suhaag raat on Hum Log. But I don’t think they would have shown anything more than two flowers going at each other.
I recall Bindiya and Vinay’s much-delayed suhaag raat on Bhagya Vidhata (Colors), and of course Abeer and gorgeous Leher’s (Yeh Pyaar Na Hoga Kam).
But of all the channels, it’s the people of Star Plus who take their suhaag raats very seriously and try and make it as lavish and memorable as possible.
Krishna and Pratigya (Pratigya, Star Plus) had a strange but sexy suhaag raat. They started off with a game of hide and seek, Pratigya lost and Krishna lugged her on his shoulders and took her to the terrace where he had put a bed, a pink fountain and a smoke machine that was throwing out white-white hawa. Soon, as the first meaningful touch was made, there was lots of deep breathing and ghabrahat. I mean, it was open air and all, that too on the house terrace. What if saasu-maa came at night to check on her achaar? But these two were bold, haan. There was some serious feet licking and bedsheet crumpling action before they faded out.
I also remember a very hot suhaag raat that slow-in-the-head Alekh had organised for Sadhana on Bidaai (Star). That too was a late night terrace affair with lots of thandi hawa and thandi-thandi aahein.
Raunchy suhaag raats ka crown goes to Imagine where you can’t imagine what Arjun and Arohi got up to (Kitni Mohabbat Hai). Since their original suhaag raat didn’t go off too well, they did everything to make up, mostly under the shower.
I wish Mr Kapoor and Priya have a suhaag raat to beat all suhaag raats. Shubh ratri.