Of all the break up rules your “experienced” friends in love told you, “not being friends with your exes” is the most popular. However, there are some who love to stay in touch with their exes. Actress Rachel McAdams was recently quoted saying, “Am I still friends with my old boyfriends? Yes, absolutely. There’s no one who’s ever been significantly in my life for whom I don’t have a sort of tenderness because they helped to shape who I am.”
We’ve all been in situations where being friends with our exes has either been a good decision or a big mistake. Still many believe in staying friends with ex lovers.
Says actor Pooja Bedi, who attended her ex-husband’s wedding, “I’m great friends with all my exes and I even went to my ex-husband’s wedding. Your ex is someone you enjoyed a happy period of your life with. You were there with that person for a reason so you can’t just turn your back and say you don’t want to speak to him anymore. But if you’ve broken up on a ugly note, there’s no point keeping in touch, otherwise it’s good to be friends with your ex.”
Nishant Peralta, who broke up with his long-time girlfriend musician Anoushka Shankar says it’s important to be friends with your exes. “It’s childish not to not be friends with exes. They have been a part of some of the most amazing experiences of your life. So it’s important to keep in touch with them,” he says.
But there are many who still believe that exes can never be friends. “When my seven-year old relationship ended, many of our common friends suggested we should stay in touch. But then it wasn’t easy. Every time I would go out with a new girl she argued about it. And it was difficult to explain everything to her. As a result, even after two years of our break up, I couldn’t move on. That’s when I decided to break all ties with her,” says IT professional Abhishek Kapoor (name changed on request).
Meru, a content writer explains, “I feel it gives you a sense of belonging together even after the break up. So it’s both good and bad. For most people, it’s the fear of losing people who they can rely on forever that leads them to being friends with them.”