In this age of independence, a woman does not need a man to provide food, clothing and shelter. And what about the man, who is spoilt for choice? He does not need physical or emotional companionship and cosseting from just the wife and perhaps could do with variety. The technological age of BBM dating, chats late into the night, and college girls on the lookout for someone to pay their designer handbag bills, do give him many options. The pow-wow that ensued on the chat show made me want to meet a real live-in couple.
Actor Tulip Joshi has been living-in with life coach Vinod Nair for years. Ever since I met them, I have marveled at how like a married couple they are in every way possible — but they aren’t married. He’s quite indifferent to marriage, and couldn’t care either way. And, she’s happy with the way things are between them, and doesn’t require the ‘stamp of marriage’ on their anyway-cemented relationship. “I feel commitment is more to do with the heart, a certificate does not count.” After a nine-year relationship, Tulip is definitely qualified to comment. “I come from a family where people get married. I however, was in search for myself, and being with Vinod has helped me realise myself. He is the pillar I turn to whenever I need advice. We are connected in a deep sense — not superficially; and I don’t know why I should change an ideal situation.”
Vinod, on the other hand, was married for a short while. That marriage ended in a few months and so ironically, this relationship, which does not have the stamp of ‘marriage’, has proved to be longer-lasting and more cemented. He says, “Tulip and I live in the same house, we travel together a lot, we work together, we cherish time together and do things the way we want to.”
Tulip enjoys the quality time spent living together; experiencing shared moments, rather than just phone calls and SMS. It’s the practical decision of two people in love; a relationship in which she experiences the freedom of spiritual commitment. “I value and want my independence and freedom most of all. It is the most important thing for me,” concludes Tulip.
Nisha is a celebrity designer and leading luxury brand consultant. You can write to her at
nishajamvwal@gmail.com [1]
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