Say “Cheeeeese!” Articulate a long ‘e’ sound. It requires us to draw back our lips and bare our teeth into a no-tooth-barred smile. For eons, photographers have been inveigling movie stars with the cheese word. Nowadays, the updated word goes, say, “Sexeeeee.” Titters and smiles follow instantaneously, whether the star is grinning and bearing it for publicity shots or for a whacky scene in a tragicomedy.
The pic which goes with this column has me going cheeeese goofily in the midst of a Delhi winter. So you might ask, “What right does he have to bring up the subject of smiles in showbiz?” To that I can only riposte, I’m a mere mortal. But the 10 most inescapable smiles of female film personalities I’m about to point out belong to those who must use it as a professional weapon. And please I’m not even getting into the Madhubala zone. I’m talking of the here and now, in order of impact — good, bad or aaargh.
PRIYANKA CHOPRA: She’s an absolutist. Either she’s smiling ditzily or she’s frowning fiercely. Even at the peril of renting DVDs of What’s Your Raashee? and Love Story 2050, check out her lips carroming between the pleasant and the disdainful. Admittedly, during the amiable extreme, her lips look fruity and tempting, a strawberry salad. Now strawberries should be fresh and seasonal. Right?
AMEESHA PATEL: Scalding situation out here. Ever since she did some vague sizzling swimming pool number, she wears a smile which can stretch from Kashmir to Kanyakumari, but oof-oh in skimpy clothes. That upset Sanjay Dutt bhai majorly. Don’t know whether he’s objecting to her smile or lack of clothing.
MALAIKA ARORA KHAN: Wish someone would give her a melancholic item number like Munni ankle sprain hui… or Anarkali Kitchen chali. Now that would be a pout of the box, no?
EKTA KAPOOR: Her smile I like, it’s there everywhere, but genuine, natural and unpretentious. And it varies. Like her TV serials nowadays.
BIPASHA BASU: Laying it on a bit too thick after going pffffft with John Abraham. No need, Bbji, we believe you’re not missing him. After seeing Force, neither are we.
VIDYA BALAN: Superb on screen but uh hello, whatever happened to her at all the various award functions where she won, won, won? Sure public display of happiness is a must… but sooooooooo much? Next year for Kahaani, hope she doesn’t repeat the over-the-moon-stars-and-constellation performance. TV edits of the shows, which keep cutting to a winner’s ecstasy, can be pretty re-re-re-repetitive.
LARA DUTTA and ASIN: It’s a tie. Now whenever the camera zeroes in on them, there they go, all lit up like Xmas trees. They may be the delight of their dentists. The rest, however, may soon make them history.