Being Biwi No. 1

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David and Lally Dhawan

Some time back I discovered David Dhawan’s movies — what a joyful ride it was! I watched potboilers filled with abundant good cheer, irreverence and side splitting humour, where zany heroes and delectable heroines meandered their way through the most improbable situations.

Ready to meet Ek Choti Si Break Ke Baad, I went to the abode of David Dhawan and his wife Lally, smiling to myself while thinking about the lot of Bollywood wives.
Husbands away for weeks on end, pre-occupied in their world of films and entertainment (sometimes entertainment that extended to other avenues!) made me curious about the wives who get ‘left behind.’ Do they have to contend with insecurities? What does the wife do to ensure fidelity, keep her peace and keep her suspicions in check?
Lally Dhawan had an arranged marriage 29 years ago. I’ve always noticed a happy equanimity about her. Never just Mrs David Dhawan, she has kept her identity intact. This, she says, is her first tip to quelling insecurity. “I never went with the tide nor did I succumb to peer pressure. I traded all the cars and bling that the film line is known for, for sound upbringing, the right priorities and values. Once you have your ethics in place, you don’t stumble or fumble.”
Her second tip is kids — the bond of a husband and wife is always cemented by their arrival. “David was never keen that I take on full time jobs. Children in the film line always hang around sets and go to parties. While the children were the centre of my life, I also ensured that I got enough ‘me’ time. David gave me the space to establish my own identity. The first time I travelled alone to Dubai to work with an exhibition, David encouraged me. In the first years of marriage there can be insecurity, but we trusted each other and allowed each other to spread our wings and grow.”
As for David, he used to go on long outdoor shoots, some lasting even a month. “It’s not as if men don’t have affairs when women go along. It can be any unit member of the crew. I connect and bond with all those in the camp. A woman must connect with people as a team for a man to feel that it is more difficult to stray.”
While making the blockbuster Biwi number 1, David claimed that he made the movie thinking of Lally. Karisma Kapoor is busy doing homework with her kids when she finds Salman Khan having an affair with Sushmita. David had said to Lally, “I’ve taken the lines of this film from you. She’s like you, her priorities are her kids.” So Lally joked, “You must then be having an affair while I do homework with Varun and Rohit.” Before he could answer, Salman Khan retorted — “Lally you won’t even know, he’s so sly.”
“Sometimes, it’s better to be in the dark than to vitiate your peace. Suspicion only makes you paranoid. Do all you can to avert an affair, but beyond a point you cannot become obsessed”, says Lally.