For a perfect balance

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Shahnaz Husain with Barack Obama

When Shahnaz Husain, renowned beauty entrepreneur, built an empire, she had to do a lot to ensure that her relationship and work stayed harmonious. Shahnaz was not educated enough to get a job, and with great struggle set up her first beauty parlour in her own house.

“Working from home proved to be an advantage — I was always there when they needed me. My husband gradually became involved in my business. He sacrificed a lot for me — he resigned from government service to be with me.”
Success came at a price however. “When my business grew and I started travelling abroad frequently, I realized that my time was not my own. I remember once when my young son had high fever. As a mother, I wanted to catch the next flight home and be with him, but in terms of my commitments, I had no option. I had the world at my feet, but I was longing to go back to my son — I realised then that you should not compromise your values for work alone.”
Shahnaz ensured that she did not allow her success to come in the way of her relationship very early in the game. “I made it a point to spend quality time with my husband. We started going to our herb farm on weekends together as a family. Even today, I’d like nothing better than to unwind with my family, go out for coffee or dinner together and catch up with each other.”
Shahnaz gradually became more famous than her spouse, and yet she managed the ego of her man and sustained a successful career and a balanced personal life. “Behind every successful woman, there is a wonderful, understanding and loving man who respects his wife’s right to be successful. We had a role reversal of sorts. I conspired to involve my husband more in my work. Soon I became the face of the enterprise, but his value and contribution in building up the business was greater, especially on the international front.” Shahnaz realised that she had to work around her husband’s ego to ensure there were no hurt feelings.
“There were no ego clashes but it needed a few adjustments. I remained in the background and and attributed all my success to him. I admitted openly that I was totally dependent on his help, advice and support. He actually took leave and lived in London to be with me when I went to study beauty at Rubinstein. He was like my pillar of strength.”
Shahnaz realised that she must ensure that her husband didn’t feel he was walking behind her. “I trained myself to stay behind him. Any program, major or minor decision, I would leave to him and follow his advice. The kids were also told ‘ask your dad, do as he says.’ He was always the lord and master. And he was there for me, goading me on to scale impossible heights.”
In Paris, the Editor of La Nouvelle Esthetique asked Mr Husain if Shahnaz ’s success and public adulation embarrassed him, or made him feel second to her in any way. He answered, “I am never shadowed by her fame or success because I am part of creating the phenomenon she is today.” When asked what exactly his role was, he said, “Just holding the fort. We built it together and that’s a full time job!”
“The way a creeper climbs on a rock and smothers it with fragrance and beauty is how a woman with a full time career can prove to her husband that,without his support, she can never climb the ladder of success or reach the dizzy heights of fame. As a wife, I have always been very careful to acknowledge his central contribution.”
The law of nature is that the man is the breadwinner. When you reverse this law, a violent emotional explosion is a possibility alright! Like a pressure cooker, your world can simmer and even explode and in that explosion, your world and your family can suffer. But, with care and concern, you can have a fabulous combination of both. It is up to the woman to balance her sensitivity and woman power.
“No matter how successful you are, I would advise all career women to ensure that the husband is always kept in the picture. It is quite wonderful to have a man supporting you at all times. He must be made to feel that he is in charge whether he is or not. Peace and happiness in one’s personal relationship is greater than anything monetary success can bring.”
(The author is a lifestyle columnist and a designer. You can mail her at nishjamwal @gmail.com)