Kids are criminal minded rascals

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One reader has accused me of avoiding his questions. Many write to me, saying I should stop with my so-called Ramuisms. And some wonder why I should be allowed to write a column at all. Good question. So I will make an exception this time, and instead of waiting till the month end, answer a pick of the pending questions rightaway.

After all it is the age of inter-activity. Most, if not all, columnists rave and rant and get away with it. I don’t like it that way. So bring on the questions, more the merrier.

Who has given you so much freedom to write whatever you like?
Freedom like power cannot be given... it has to be taken.

Why do you detest children? Did you hate yourself when you were a kid?
I don’t detest children. I just say that it is a myth that they are innocent. Ever since I was conscious as a kid, I hated my mother for forcing me to do homework. I stole money from my father’s pocket. And I wished some big man would die so that there would be a day off at school. So from my personal knowledge, this is proof of what kind of criminal-minded rascals children really are.

What is your take on the popularity of Salman Khan?
Salman Khan has become such a big star that if someone makes Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag 2 with him, even that would be a blockbuster.

Reportedly you are making a series of sequels — Satya 2, Company 2 etc — have you run out of imagination?
I ran out of imagination even before I started imagining. And I have always made a rehash of either one of my own films or someone else’s.

I heard that you are partnering up with John Abraham. A case of the beauty (he) and the beast (you)?
Well let’s hope that our child (the film) won’t get my beauty and his beastliness.

Why has Gangs of Wasseypur not received any five stars... it’s a better film than Satya.
Ask this question to this Khalid Mohamed and his tribe.

After Department, does Amitabh Bachchan still take your calls?
He actually called me home to kick me all over.

I work at the Hyderabad airport but I do not see you coming to your hometown much nowadays. Why?
Where I am at the moment is my hometown whether it’s Mumbai or Hyderabad or Karachi.

For once why don’t you say something unpredictable.
Hi how are you? I wish you all the best in life. May God shower you with all his divine blessings.