Fatally lonely at the top?

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She was centred, so together… not a flake or someone who was disconnected, one of the nicest girls,” says king of couture, Tarun Tahiliani, shocked to hear that his favourite model and muse, Viveka Babajee took her own life. “I think it may have something to do with her tragic break-up,” he says echoing the empty but understandable speculation that is inevitable when a beautiful woman in the public eye chooses to end it all.
The model fraternity in Mumbai knows making the cut can scar you. Outrageous costs of living, unbelievable competition for work, disposable work ethics, bitchiness, gossip, the plasticity of their professional and social lives begins to wear these professional clothes-horses down. Drug abuse and psychological trauma is not uncommon. And in the cases of actresses and models Nafisa Joseph, Kuljeet Randhawa or Monica Chaudhury, it took a fatal toll.
When singer and model, Mansi Scott met Viveka, one short week ago, she says the model showed no signs of distress, “She signed me on to do a show and looked happy and positive. I knew her ex and her present boyfriend. Somehow I had a bad feeling about the relationship. Family is a big cushion. I think when you’re far away from home, it’s very tough to keep sane and survive in an industry where you have no real friends and family is far away, many times unreachable.”
Shocked and grief-stricken, model Feroze Gujral says she has no comment, but a more forthcoming, honest Amanpreet Wahi, model, gently explains, “You have no friends in the fashion industry. They are either jealous that you have arrived or simply ignore you if you are junior. Seeing what Viveka did, I feel we all wear a mask and go out in public. I know I do if it’s been a particularly rough day. I’m insecure about showing my vulnerability to the cruel world but at least I’m married and have a loving family now. Viveka had nothing, maybe that’s why she got into all the wrong kinds of relationships.”
Liza Verma, model coordinator and choreographer has watched these beautiful, famous girls attract the wrong kind of guy, “Because you are so alone, some men take advantage of you. I think what Viveka did has nothing to do with her being famous or a model, it was personal: the inability to find true love, companionship, it’s what we women crave for. A big car and lots of jewellery will not bring you as much happiness as a warm hug.”
Few will go on record, but most will quietly acquiesce that the fashion industry is vicious, crawling with predatory men on the hunt for emotionally vulnerable women who make an easy target. “It is a flashy world, where finding anything remotely real is a tough task. I think there is so much focus on the body and not enough on what is happening inside, that you lose perspective. This can lead to several mental and emotional disturbances and many times, you are pushed to a helpless situation, where you take drastic steps, like Viveka did,” says psychologist Surabhee Soni of Fortis hospital.
Designer Mandira Wirk remembers Viveka as a fabulous, well-adjusted person, a “real friend” to her. Wirk recalls times when she was broke or budgets were tight, when Viveka would work for free, “that was the kind of person she was, always giving advice to others and embracing upcoming models with warmth”. Having met Viveka quite recently, she says, “I think it was a personal relationship mess that drove her to this. There should be support groups for models who are all alone in an alien city. At least some semblance of a support system must be there.”
Visibly upset, top model Bhawana Sharma rails against the media speculation surrounding Viveka’s death, “Why can’t you leave us all alone? Why do you all have to dig dirt all the time? Let the poor girl, at least after her death, have some privacy. Loneliness is present in all professions, so why do you guys single models out? I don’t want to talk about her personal problems. All I will say is that I miss my friend.”