Romance, all the way

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Aamir Khan romancing Kajol in Kashmir was one of the more poignant love stories I’ve seen in recent Hindi film land. That was Fanaa, from the Kunal Kohli stable, someone who has explored deeply the themes of love — the interplay and dynamics of a man-woman relationship.

His films stress so much on romance, that I get very curious about what he finds attractive in a woman.
While decoding the man-woman chemistry in Teri Meri Kahani, Hum Tum and Mujhse Dosti Karoge, how much of him exists in his movies? Is there after all a ‘happily-ever-after’? The questions are pouring!
We meet over champagne, on the terrace garden of Kunal’s Mumbai penthouse, where he shares with me his world view on love and more. “For me the most interesting thing about a man and woman relationship is the changing dynamics with changing experiences. It is an ever evolving process.”
What then attracts him to a woman? “It’s difficult to say what attracts one to a lover, but if I was to pin it down, it is intellect. Looks are important, but intellect is of greater importance, as there is no communication for me without intellect.”
Fanaa was the story of a terrorist, so their principles were different. But their attraction and love was everlasting. “Kajol will always love Aamir Khan, she will live with his memory. She even tells her son that life is not always about right or wrong, sometimes you have to choose what is more right.”
Is there a happily ever after in real life like his films? “Definitely, and if it hasn’t happened for you then my message is to wait, you aren’t there yet. Shahid Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra in Teri Meri Kahani and Saif and Rani in Hum Tum lived happily ever after in my mind. After the initial courtship, people have to grow through life together. When people say that their relationship has plateaued, then they’ve actually lost interest.”
So does Kunal feel man is meant to be monogamous? “Society has been conditioned to be monogamous. Nature also plays a part. Not being monogamous does lead to disease, so maybe nature is telling us to be monogamous.”
Kunal brings out an interesting debate through Rani and Saif in Hum Tum — can a man and woman be friends? “I think it depends on what kind of mood you are in at different times in your life. There is no rule. I have had attractive female friends where I’ve maintained just a friendship. Keeping attraction under check is also what makes us different from animals. It’s our power of logic and reasoning.”
How much of Kunal is there in his films? “It’s very difficult to verbalise romance so I say it through celluloid. Romance means different things to different people. For me it is two people just holding hands and spending time together. It’s basically togetherness. That you cannot beat, replicate or replace.”
And what keeps a marriage from becoming monotonous? “Understanding and listening can change a lot of things. If something is wrong, communicate. When you don’t talk about things, things go wrong. Why could you speak to a stranger at a bar, a therapist or a friend and not to your spouse? You have to break the barriers.”