New tress circle

It’s always a time for celebration when a friend is elevated to the ranks of the great and the glorious. And recently when former civil servant-turned-restaurant magnate Ranjit Mathrani (married to the equally talented Namita Panjabi) was appointed the High Sheriff of Greater London it gave us all a reason to party non stop. Sometimes, of

course, the party can have a “cause” behind it. And this week the newly-appointed High Sheriff decided to introduce us to one very successful but discreetly run non-profit organisation, supported by the police, called Safer London Foundation. Over wine and canapés at the elegant Amaya, attended by the home secretary, Theresa May, we learnt more about how the foundation works, trying hard to keep vulnerable children off the streets in productively creative activities.
So who says crime doesn’t pay? Well (hopefully) it may not eventually help the criminals, but the loot from crime, if collected by the police, can end up helping communities and deprived areas. At least that is the mandate of the Safer London Foundation, efficiently run by the soft-spoken Jill Andrews, its director. It is a marvellous idea of channelling the ill-gotten gains back into helping young people to get engaged with music, dance and other life-affirming activities. I wonder if this idea could be implemented in India as well.
At present few of us have any idea about the fate of unclaimed booty from theft or burglary cases… And what happens to those crores of rupees which are routinely grabbed from corrupt politicians? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the money were given back to a non-government, or quasi-government organisation, a charity or a school which could use for it the greater good of some deprived section of society? This could eventually lead to an actual lessening of crime and criminal gangs, if those who are most likely to become lured to it are diverted into gainful activities.
After all, right now one of the huge debates in the UK is how we must tackle not only crime, but also the cause of crime. Throwing everyone who commits a crime into jail may not be the only answer — areas can also be made safer by offering a softer approach and weaning children away from the gang and gun culture.
So how does the Safer London Foundation work? When the police unearth a stash of illegal cash or any stolen goods, they hand these over to the foundation. If it is a stolen work of art, and no one claims it, for instance, it can be sold and funds are thus raised. Often, the foundation then collaborates with a well-established local charity, examining problems and identifying solutions to them. This knowledge is then used in making a “real” difference. Ms Andrews says, “Ironic as it may seem, recycling and redirecting cash from criminal activity does actually make a huge amount of positive change on the ground in terms of diverting young people away from crime and supporting them in turning their lives around… Take for instance the Osmani Trust, based in Tower Hamlets, which works across some of the most deprived wards in the UK, whose streets have sometimes (yet not uniquely) been a flashpoint for gang fighting. Since 2008 its Aasha project has mediated in more than 14 separate gang conflicts, given local kids accredited training and worked with local employers to open doors”.
Well, it’s a great idea and one that is definitely worth stealing!

MEANWHILE, THERE has been another appointment which is causing celebrations to break out across the UK. That is the rise of the Welsh-born Labour Party firebrand Julia Gillard, the new Prime Minister of Australia. Just as in India we can take vicarious pleasure out of the irresistible rise of Nikki Haley, the US Republican gubernatorial candidate, the UK is re-claiming its rights on Ms Gillard, whose parents left Wales when she was a young girl. They took the decision to immigrate to Australia as “£10 poms” (ie, they received assisted passage and migrant status in return for a £10 fee). This new flock of migrants was very essential to populate the then largely empty Australian continent.
Ms Gillard is now being celebrated not only for her remarkable ability to survive and replace her former boss, but also for her capacity to trade ribald insults with her largely male colleagues in Parliament. One anecdote proudly recounted is how she was thrown out of Parliament for calling an opponent “a snivelling little grub”. In turn she has been lambasted with sexist abuse over the years, and one Liberal senator has had to apologise for saying that she could not qualify for a formal post since she had decided to remain deliberately “barren”. Women politicians all over the world have to deal with weird abuse — as we have also seen in the case of Mayawati and Mamata Banerjee back home.
But where I think our women politicians can take a page out of Ms Gillard’s book is in her selection of her partner (this is her third one). Wisely, she has opted for Tim Mathieson, a former hair dresser turned estate agent. I could not approve of her choice more. Imagine having your very own hairdresser at home! Fantastic! It solves all problems and has no doubt enabled her with an infallible follicular advantage over her opponents. She will never have a bad hair day — and Mr Mathieson has already confessed to being her secret weapon as he is often woken up early in the morning to dress the prime ministerial tresses. He says he has learnt to do her hair even when half asleep. Wow! This will not only ensure that Ms Gillard’s flaming red head is constantly groomed for TV cameras , she will also save the Australian taxpayer a lot of money as she need not cart along an extra hairdresser when she travels.
Ms Gillard has probably shown the way now for all women standing for elections anywhere in the world — a neat solution no doubt supported by hair-product companies, who will all vote for Ms Gillard, because Mr Mathieson is definitely worth it!
However, the only danger is that there can be no secrets in such a relationship. The state of the Prime Minister’s love-life with her consort (whom she yet has to marry) will be revealed very easily by the condition, shine and style of Ms Gillard’s hair. If there is a strand out of place, the local tabloids will scream about a “brush off” — with every split end indicating an impending split. So can one really have such a deeply personal relationship with a hairdresser and yet hold high office? Only time, and the state of Ms Gillard’s hair, will tell.

The writer can be contacted at kishwardesai@yahoo.com [2]