Of love and care

[1]

Amrit Sadhana [1]

The childhood is glorified after people get older and look back on their childhood calling this phase of life “golden”. A lot of poetry and fantasy is created around this time. But ask those young ones who are actually living in this so-called “golden period”. How do they find it? Do they feel they are in heaven? No, every child wants to grow older fast, they think it’s the elders who are living in heaven.
It is the same situation regarding the sibling love. The fabric of this complex relationship is woven with rivalry, competition, jealousy, fights. So much so that the observational studies show that siblings fight approximately once every 17 minutes when they are small.
This psychological fact is completely ignored in the cultures that boast of strong family ties. Maybe because the nature of family relations is such that there has to be some degree of unconsciousness to be able to sustain them. The most important ingredient of the “happy family” illusion is the belief that people who are born together do love, or have to love each other.
And yet, there is something special about this love-hate relationship with one’s brother or sister. After growing old, people may become great in the eyes of the world but when you meet your siblings your carefree, innocent childhood is still alive in their memories. The ties are powerful and intertwined like branches on a tree: they grow in different directions yet the roots remain one.
Probably observing rituals on festivals like Raksha Bandhan or Bhai Dooj were created recognising the strength of this relation. Interestingly, they are created between a male and a female sibling, not between two men or two women. There is a sense of protecting each other. From whom? From the invaders.
We cannot overlook the fact that both the festivals were born in the northern part of India which was constantly invaded and women were at risk, so it was a necessity that they should be protected by men in the family. The strengthening of family bonds was needed at the time.
I think it is still needed in a different manner because the family as an institution is slowly disintegrating. The ties are not as strong as they were. The rituals are there but the soul is missing. Everyone feels unloved, taken for granted. In these circumstances the basic concept of caring can be revived at a higher level, which Osho calls “interdependence”.
Expand the caring to all those you feel affinity with, they may be your biological siblings or not; they are human, and that is enough. Respect each other’s individuality so that each one can enjoy their freedom and yet be available to respond to the other.

Amrit Sadhana is in the management team of Osho International Meditation Resort, Pune. She facilitates meditation workshops around the country and abroad.