Woman MP’s junglee menu

What can an annoyed member of the UK Parliament do when she feels she hasn’t been given due respect by Prime Minister David Cameron or her party colleagues?

Perhaps she could sign onto a reality TV show, go off to the wilds of Australia and have an assortment of worms and cockroaches dumped on her, while buried underground! It’s an extreme way to seek attention, but it has worked for Nadine Dorries, a British MP who is now appearing on I’m A Celebrity-Get Me Out Of Here! and is managing to make headlines, almost on a daily basis.
But, according to her, she is using the celebrity platform to raise social issues, such as the fact that Mr Cameron is a toff. Her constituents, however, are not impressed, demanding she give up not just her MP’s salary (which she has promised to do) but also the money she is going to be paid for her TV show appearance.
The real beneficiaries are the show producers who are thrilled with the controversy, which means that more and more people are tuning in to see Ms Dorries reduced to tears while performing onerous tasks to survive in the “jungle”. In the last episode she was served a mouth-watering concoction comprising baked spider, camel’s toe, fermented duck egg, ostrich anus and lamb’s testicles. Surely none of her experiences in Parliament, no matter how humiliating, could have matched this. But Ms Dorries is made of sterner stuff, and she apparently managed to polish off most of this menu. One wonders if any Indian woman politician could ever manage to swallow a baked spider or ostrich anus. Perhaps it’s about time they were sent to the British Parliament to toughen up.
And it’s quite likely that there is a growing sympathy for her rather sporting attitude as she is pushed to take on more and more extreme challenges. Other parliamentarians, including Mr Cameron, better watch out when she returns. Someone who has tasted lamb testicles might be more resilient than hitherto imagined.

Another person whose talents have been much admired of late, though for different reasons, is Pippa Middleton. But sadly her ratings as a writer are not touching the stratosphere. Surprisingly, the book for which well-known agent David Godwin (who also represents Vikram Seth), had got her an advance of £400,000 is not selling as well as expected. Few people are breaking down the door to buy Celebrate!, the book about party fare and partying, on which Ms Middleton is pegged as an expert. But the reviews have been more or less as underwhelming as the book sales. It is unclear what the publishers were expecting from the book but possibly with a six-figure advance, they were hoping to shift more than a few thousand copies. It’s early days yet, and perhaps if partying Pippa pushes the book she might end up with a real reason to celebrate.

Meanwhile, some other literary events have been far more satisfying. The British Library has an exhibition on Mughal India: Art, Culture and Empire, which is an absolute joy. For one thing, so many of the exhibits are spread out between private collections and disparate museums that it makes sense to bring the collection under one roof. Secondly, the exhibition can be enjoyed without any fundamentalist (Hindu or otherwise) suddenly taking umbrage at the matter. Indeed, included in the portraits of the various Mughal rulers — from Babur to Bahadur Shah Zafar — is also a risqué portrait of Mohammad Shah “Rangeela” in bed with a lady from his harem. It might have been a bold portrait commissioned by the Rangeela king, but it provides a complete contrast to the more discreet and sober depictions of other emperors. The exhibition has some other unusual art and literature commissioned by the Mughals, including the richly illustrated translation of the Mahabharat, commissioned by Emperor Akbar. If at all the exhibition is to be faulted it is only that the information accompanying the display is a little too sparse, and in a few cases, too bland. But the choice and selection of the exhibits and their variety is fascinating. The tragedy is that we only get to see exhibitions like this outside India.

Also not being in India meant we could happily attend a charity event hosted this week by Pakistan high commissioner Wajid Shamsul Hasan to which women (and men) both Asian and non-Asian were invited. It was organised by the untiring members of the Pan Asian Women’s Association, which includes the indomitable campaigner Betty Yao. The high commissioner spoke movingly about Malala Yusufzai’s condition, to whom the evening was dedicated. The teenager who wanted to go to school and was cruelly shot by the Taliban is apparently making good progress while being treated in a Birmingham hospital. The event was a fund-raiser to contribute towards educating girls in Pakistan, something that the high commissioner pointed out, and the Pakistan government is now taking very seriously.
Also speaking at the function was Nosheena Mubarak. Extremely unusually, she is the Chair of the Confederation of British Industry in Scotland. She described the journey to her present position, in a male dominated world. Alongside her husband she runs a computer software company. Despite the seriousness behind the discussions taking place, the evening had its share of laughter, with the performance of the intrepid stand-up comedian, Shazia Mirza. She ensured that we all were able to confront difficult issues (from terrorism to burkas to living in Birmingham!) and laugh off their implications, at least for one evening.

But now for one important announcement for all anti-ageing addicts. It seems that Kartar Singh Lalvani, the UK-based head of Vitabiotics, a pharma company, has discovered the elixir of youth. He recently told me he has discovered an exciting serum that all the big stores in the UK are scrambling to market. So ladies and gentlemen, put on your sprinting boots and be ready to queue up for it.