It’s Time to say alvida

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Priyanka Chopra’s character in Anjana Anjani had troubles dealing with her past

You wake up and you BBM your lover. The last thought you sleep with is that intimate moment you just shared. And then boom, when you least expect it, it’s all gone. You’ve split up, you are no longer dating or married or together. It has ended. It is bitter. You hate each other more than anyone else in your life.

That same person — whom you prayed for, wished for, ate from the same plate with, you now feel such a strong revulsion toward. And yet you cannot move on. You’re mentally clinging on.
Hate is another form of love, isn’t it? So how then should you forget the past and move on? How do you close the door on the bitterness and let in the healing breezes of a new love affair? You cannot cling on to the past now, can you?
The sad truth is that there is no real formula except working hard at moving on. Yes, the same adage works here too! There is really no free lunch. So let’s look at ways.
Travel. Does it work? I know — every prospective partner you meet on the trip, you’re comparing to the one who just exited your life. So here’s the thing, why on earth are you looking anyway? I mean, didn’t you just get out of a tough relationship? The trick I’d say, is to not look, not covet, not secretly want a tailor made clone of your past partner to come and fill the lacuna. Indulge in exciting, mind occupying entertainment to fill the lacuna. Learn a new language, lose the unwanted weight, call up your friends who’ve been tolerant of you so far. Sort out your email inbox and make folders. Occupations that do not bring you back to the same old ‘why’, ‘how’, ‘when’ questioning, rehashing, self doubt routines, are an exercise in will power that will get you through. Trust me it’s not worth it if it’s over. It is time to move on and away from all the self recrimination, hurt and pain. It’s time to make new use of your precious time.
It might not be easy but if you don’t close the door on the past, the future will never unfurl in front of you. It may not be another partner, but I’m definitely promising that you’ll be happy again, realize why it didn’t work, feel a sense of relief that nature and serendipity took you away from something that was not meant for you. Because something happier is waiting for you at the curb just ahead. How do I know? Because I’ve been through it, and yes I’ve cried and felt it’s the end of the world, but I have delighted a few weeks later in the relief of being rid of an anchor that weighed me down and never let me soar.
Remember one important thing, and yes I know what I’m speaking of, true love makes you soar and delight with every waking moment. And it takes you to a new growth and positive metamorphosis with every brush. I’ve always viewed love as a timeless ethereal fragrance that lingers, warms, gives meaning to moments and stays with you forever. Love, I believe, shouldn’t pull you down and fall apart eventually. The very fact that it came crumbling down is because it was never meant to be in the first place. So move on and find meaning in other pursuits. And who knows, out of the blue true love might come and blow you with its magic when you least expect it to.