Women come edited onscreen

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QWill you show Kasab’s hanging in the film you’re making on the 26/11 attacks?
Yes, because that will be a perfect happy ending for an otherwise dark violent story.

QHow’s your mood now that Bhoot 2 has vanished from your life?
Planning to haunt the theatres again with Bhoot 3.

QI don’t like Anurag Kashyap saying that your best time was when he worked with you. That is so conceited, isn’t it?
We are a free country where our Constitution guarantees the freedom of speech, even to the likes of Anurag.

QWhy aren’t you discovering young, attractive heroines nowadays?
I have shifted gears from glamour to gore.

QWho styles your clothes? Manish Malhotra? Or Vikram Phadnis? Or Rocky S?
None of them. That privilege goes to one of my 12 current girlfriends.

QWhy is sex more exciting onscreen than it is between the sheets?
Because onscreen women come edited, but in real life you can’t edit them.

QWhy are you against censorship?
If we are supposed to have enough wisdom to choose and vote for who should govern us, I think it’s only fair that we should also be credited with enough wisdom to decide what we want to see in our films.

QYou have nothing original in you. You keep quoting Schopenhauer, Ayn Rand and Nietzche.
Arrey mere baap, apart from my umpteen interviews over the years, I have screamed out loud that everything I do is a copy. So?

QYou are living in a fool’s paradise.
That is far better than an intellectual hell.

QIf there is no sex and vodka in the world, what will you do?
Die.

QIf you don’t have anything interesting to write, there’s no need to write. It’s really okay. It’s fine.
If you don’t have anything else to read, no need to come to my column. It’s really okay. It’s fine.

QEvery breath we take is a gift from God. But he takes it away too. What about that, sir?
I think you are quite spiritual. Quite a few people want me to become a spirit.

QI can’t believe your rudeness. What do you think of yourself?
I’m much more than you can handle.

QWhat do you think of women and their side-effects?
For me they are the main effect.

QYour weird camera angles give me a headache.
And this observation of yours gives me a bore-ache.