Life is what she made of it

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Zarine Khan with her family

Sanjay Khan’s wife, Hritik Roshan’s mum-in-law, Zahid Khan’s mother — she is all this, but it comes later. Zarine Khan was a model who went on to become a personality on her own terms. I’ve always noticed how she stood apart from the noise, metaphorically speaking.

Even in those times, in his zenith, when Sanjay Khan was preoccupied with the hazards of the kind notorious to Bollywood, surprisingly, Zarine stayed self-assured, never insecure. “People used to look at me and wonder how I could be so self-possessed through that rough patch. An attractive woman myself, I was pregnant with our fourth child. Yes, I was hurt within, but I never allowed it to show. I took all the positive energy I could garner and moved it into my career. Somehow, I never doubted that I was my husband’s soul mate,” says Zarine, the fire in her shining through. She had focused on her career in interiors and kept the family secure in those times. She had never allowed herself the luxury of self-pity and told herself that it was a passing phase.
Zarine had given up her modelling career for the marriage. She was not going to quit the marriage but instead work it for her kids, her home, her fortress. “My husband was a conservative man. He had told me at the outset, it’s either the glamour world or me. I’d chosen him back when being an actor was only a dream he nurtured. I abided by the rules even when he strayed.”
Zarine is certain that 99 per cent of marriages go through fractures because of a partner’s dalliances. Some fall apart, some become stronger and move on buoyantly. Hers was the latter. “No crying for me. Instead I wore six-inch heels to keep my stature intact and just made sure I kept a happy home, a happy atmosphere without scenes or unpleasantness. I never allowed space for insecurities to enter my mind. I strongly believe in the cliché that if you love someone, you set them free. If they’re yours they come back. And Sanjay did,” she declares with a twinkle in her eye. “Lots of time has passed since, but the rules stay the same. A man most often comes back to his family and I’d still advise all women to hold on, to keep the faith.”
Ups and downs occur in everybody’s life, she says. “Our worst test was the fire on the sets of Tipu Sultan where Sanjay suffered monumental burns and 50 people died on the sets. We’ve gone through so much. Put me in a ditch and I’ll come out, because I have that will to survive for my family. We are like an Italian family: we meet very often, shout, hug, bond. Only Zahid’s wife doesn’t talk on top of her voice, like we do, at family get-togethers. We are very close,” says Zarine. Today they are a rambling happy family of 20, in the immediate circle of her four children and grandchildren.
“Life is what you make of it. It’s not meant to be perfect, you’ve got to make it perfect. Work at it. When you get depressed, create little tricks to get out of the rut,” says Zarine. “I open up fashion magazines or clean up all my cupboards. It keeps my mind occupied. The trick, I’d say, is to always keep yourself busy, focus on only the positive and not allow negative thoughts to enter your space. Negative thoughts only make you more negative.”