Iker Casillas, the triumphant Spanish football captain, was so overcome with emotions after his team won the Fifa 2010 on Sunday in South Africa that the 29-year-old goalkeeper broke down in tears in front of the entire world. Typically, the footballer would have been labeled a ‘sissy’ or branded less of a man for this open show of emotions but this Spaniard is now being hailed as a ‘real man’ who wears his heart on his sleeve and is not afraid to display his emotions. And he’s not the only one, Roger Federer was visibly moved when he lost to Rafael Nadal during Australian Open 2009 and Leander Paes too showed his emotional side when he played his first match after a critical surgery.
Actor Prasanna of Achamundu Achamundu fame says that it’s the high voltage emotions that a person goes through at such a moment, which makes men unable to hold back their tears. “If I was in Iker Casillas’ place even I would have done the same thing. He has created history and he is on his way to becoming a legend in his country — that’s no small achievement, especially when you consider that Spain wasn’t even one of the top contenders for the title at the beginning of the tournament,” he says while adding that even though he hasn’t shed tears in public yet there have been times when he was emotionally touched, “Like when I observe the audience’s reaction to a very difficult scene, when they clap and whistle when my name appears on screen. I haven’t broken down in public yet, maybe there’s something bigger in store for me,” he adds optimistically.
Despite all the tags of metrosexual, alpha male, etc., men say that emotional atyachaar affects them too. “Yes, there have been times when I’ve been very moved, but sometimes I hold back my tears. But when I received my first modelling assignment I couldn’t control myself,” reveals Siddharth Maini, a Mumbai-based model who has walked the ramp in Chennai a couple of times. “Crying in public doesn’t make you less of a man, in fact I think it makes you more stronger and shows that you are not all that macho and hard-hearted,” he says.
Women too identify with this public display of emotion and give such gestures a huge thumbs up. Says model Alesia Raut, “I don’t think crying in public makes men sissy or girlie, I actually appreciate men, who are open about their emotions and are comfortable being themselves and not hiding underneath the whole seemingly tough persona that they always try to portray.” “These days men are more comfortable with their emotions and when they see popular personalities like Iker Casillas or even Roger Federer break down on international television they realise that it’s okay if they do the same. Even in movies these days there are several scenes that depict men as vulnerable and emotional, something that was reserved only for the women earlier. Tough and macho men existed only during the Stone Age, now men are seen more as people who use both their heart and their head,” explains Madhavi Balachander, a psychologist and relationship expert.