Prabha Khaitan: A life bold & beautiful

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Writing one’s life is a striptease act: you are exposed to hundreds of eyes watching you uncover your naked self,” Prabha Khaitan in A Life Apart.

In all honesty, while revisiting her life story through words, Prabha Khaitan does away with the inhibitions and hesitations. A well known entrepreneur, social activist and feminist Hindi writer, there were many shades to her story, yet for her memoir she decided to lay bare the most controversial aspect of her life. She wrote the autobiographical Anya se Ananya in Hindi and after five years of her death, its English translation by writer Ira Pande has been published.
Speaking at the Kolkata leg of the launch Ms Ira said, “Girls during Prabha’s growing up years, that is in the 1950s and 60s decade, hardly tasted much freedom. And life for those belonging to the conservative Marwari community were exceptionally restricted and predictable.
From the onset, Prabha gave enough hints of not walking the preconceived line. Her decision to pursue higher studies and enroll in the mecca of intellectuals, the Presidency College, Kolkata, showed the initial signs of a life apart.”
Another facet of her personality, was her ability to blend well. She belonged to the diaspora Marwari community, yet the acclaimed writer saw and projected herself as much a native as any Bengali can lay claim to it.
Her intellectual and professional credentials aside, the biggest talking point of Prabha’s life was her decision to be her lover’s ‘other woman’. He happened to be a much senior, married father of five and a well-known city doctor. And in true reflection of her fair nature, she admits that initiating and continuing with the relationship was a voluntary decision. It did mirror her vulnerability but at no point does she indulge in the “victim syndrome”.
Through the book, the readers get acquainted with a women, who lived life on her own terms yet remained vulnerable to her heart’s calling. She succumbed to the love of a man, older to her in age and accepted the label of being the ‘illegitimate’ woman.
Ms Ira refuses to take a judgmental stand on her subject’s paradoxical nature. She puts across her views with the words. “We cannot view her from a black and white prism. She made a choice and lived with it during an era when the term liberal women had a different definition.”
While Prabha’s life story weaves an interesting tale, the book also chronicles the political and social climate of Kolkata. It’s first brush with the tryst of freedom and later on the Naxalite violence that shook the city to its core.
There is an interesting chapter about her first visit to America while she was in her twenties. She embarked to an unexplored land, soaked the culture shock and learned to make adjustments. And once the dust settled, the bonding with her American hosts makes an enduring impression. There were also a flicker of a romantic liaison in the distant land but the adamant young woman chose to nip it in the bud.
Later, she returned home to her lover, and a society that persisted with the snide remarks about her unconventional life. Perhaps she was well aware that her reputation was at stake. Determined and showing no signs of relenting, eventually her work and her creativity were pivotal in restoring the respect that Prabha Khaitan deserved.