When stars ‘attack’

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Domestic abuse and violence pervades all strata of society. While many female celebrities have been subjected to assault by their partners, quite a few male celebs have been known to be abusive. The list comprises Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Sean Penn, Salman Khan, Chris Brown, Sean Connery and Bobby Brown among others. What makes them violent? Considering the number of successful women who’ve been assaulted by their men, actress Sharmeila Mandre says, “A part of it has to do with insecurity faced by men when the women are more successful. It’s male chauvinism. Being physically stronger, they feel they have the right to show their power over women.” Bollywood actress Pooja Chopra adds, “Why should men show power over someone who’s physically less powerful than them? If you raise your hand on a woman, you’re not man enough. A man’s behaviour depends on his upbringing too.”
Psychologist Dr Ali Khwaja says, “These men could be jealous of the woman’s status and might think ‘she may be a star outside, but at home, I’m the boss’ and will want to show their power over them.” A lot of abusers are known to have faced or seen abuse during their childhood or had family issues. Adds Dr Khwaja, “A majority of abusive men have been influenced by unwanted exposure as children. They could’ve seen their father abusing their mother or they might’ve seen their mother hen-pecking the father and decided to not allow their wife to do the same to them. These men aren’t born violent, they get influenced by such factors in their formative years.”
Actress Shilpa Shukla feels that domestic abuse is a result of years of conditioning, major parental issues and substance abuse. “Abusers need to be aware of ethics and have a change of heart. They need to go back into their childhood and unplug the pore that made them so thick-skinned.” Gibson’s ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, who spoke at the Artists Against Abuse gala, said, “I was afraid to ask for help, in the grip of blinding fear. I wished I had had someone’s help. Often, victims of domestic violence are made to feel as if it was their fault, when it was not.”
Most abusive male celebs in India are let off easily and continue to be worshipped as heroes. “Strict laws should be enforced here so that they aren’t let off the hook,” expresses Sharmeila. Dr Khwaja agrees, “Victims should be empowered to build better self-esteem, given clearer direction in life and assured of support so that they can raise their voice. Most abusers get away because of the fear and half-hearted complaints of the victims.”