What’s there to know about the No? Among the most important virtues a teenager can possess, self-denial tops.
All you young guys out there reading my column can do with a bit of self-denial. You just need to say No to something you have been saying Yes to, all these days.
You are addicted to your mobile phone. Just switch it off for 24 hours offering no explanations. You are addicted to Facebook. Don’t open it for one week — no reasons offered.
You deny yourself whatever you are getting desperately hooked on to. That’s what self-denial is about. It strengthens the core of your being. It develops the No attitude you desperately need in your life.
The Yes attitude will erode your will power and make you a colourless, faceless Yes man in society. If you say Yes to all your habits and desires, you will gradually lose the discerning power, the dissenting power and the defying power to remain centered and identify yourself as separate from the herd.
I know this isn’t what you guys want to hear from me. When asked to deny himself something he craves for, a teenager will usually react with anger. In fact, teenagers tend to show a huge amount of anger when their parents cannot or do not indulge them in something they are hooked on to.
Well, my dear young friends, don’t think you are a radical just because you tick off your parents. In fact you are already a docile follower. You are following your desires faithfully. As long as those desires are fed, you will remain a docile person. You are already one of the herd — galloping ahead, head down, eyes locked on the galloping hooves in front.
The only way to carve your destiny and create your future is to gain power over yourself. That means gaining power over your desires. It’s like a sword being forged on a fire with a hammer. The sword is you, the fire is your desire, the hammer is self-denial. Once the layers and layers of steel within you are hammered with the force of will, you will gain an edge that’s sharp and keen, hard and unyielding, bright and beautiful. You will have all the more power in this world — simply because the vast majority have given up theirs. All this from one simple word — No. That’s why you should know the No deeply — and make it part of life’s learning experience.